Tuesday, August 31, 2010

school days

Well so far so good in the school department. Bekah starts school a week from tomorrow. I have met the new principal, talked with the nurse and began training some of the staff. I have the ADA coming out to the school to do some further training as well. I haven't yet met in person, but know who Bekah's teacher will be this year. I have created documents for communication between the staff and I, come up with a care plan and am putting the finishing touches on our 504 plan.

I have to send out lots of kudos and love to my friends Wendy from Candy Hearts, Reyna from Beta Buddies and Hallie from The Princess and the Pump for their help with the documents. Thank you ladies for sharing your plans etc. I was so overwhelmed until I came across the helpful information on their blogs. I can't forget Heidi over at D-Tales who just shared a great letter with me that I tweaked to share with Bekah's class.

Last school year I felt unsupported by the principal who would not meet with me, pressure from the school nurse, who is only at the school once a week, to get my newly diagnosed 6 year old to give her self shots. I was overwhelmed and scared to death to send my daughter to school at that school 6 hrs a day. I looked in to private schools, too expensive, and home school options, Bekah was not in to that idea. We looked at many houses in a different school district because they seem to handle medical issues better, none of them felt right and the ones that did we got aced out of. So I took a deep breath and decided the safest option at this school would be a pump. I fought our insurance company a we got our pump two weeks ago.

Friday as I entered the school, I felt a lump form in my throat. I was meeting with the nurse and a staff member who would be helping with the majority of Bekah's care. I was surprised that the new principal wanted to meet with us too. The extra stress of learning the pumping process and sleeplessness of an 18 month old getting eye teeth in, got to me and I had to choke back the tears in our meeting. I showed them Rebekah's care plan and went over pump basics. To my amazement the school nurse was so supportive and positive with me. She specifically requested a teacher for Bekah who has dealt with T1 families in her class in the past. I found out that not only does this 1st grade teacher have experience with D, she is a pastor's wife. I couldn't be more thrilled! I know she will be a great fit for Bekah this school year!

We are going in daily this week to meet with the office staff person that will be helping Bekah on a daily basis with her D care. Bekah is so super shy, I want her to establish a great relationship with this gal before school starts and for the office gal to not feel overwhelmed with the pump etc with everything else the first few days of school will hold.

Bekah made a picture fortelling the future of her and her teacher on the first day if school. Look at the faces and the open arms and the colors. Can you see the psychology? How is Bekah really feeling about the first day of school?

I think she is pretty darn happy and looking forward to a great year! What more could I ask? I'll do what it takes to keep that precious smile on her face!

Sunday, August 29, 2010


All of you sleep deprived d-moms out there know this post is not about what usually congers up in ones mind when they hear the word kinky. Kinky in the D world takes all of the fun out of the word.

If you read about my battle yesterday then you know I went in to the night already a little worse for wear. All day Bekah's numbers were great! At 8ish her tubing got caught on a chair and pulled the site out. With only a few tears we got the site replaced and got ready for bed. David, of course decided that he wasn't going to sleep until 11:00 (that's what I get for letting the kids stay up late all summer). I stayed up until 12 to check Bekah's BG. 367! Curse you darn spaghetti!! Next time I will try to combo bolus with pasta. I give her a correction and fall into a slumber.

3:00- My husband comes in to let me know he got a 417. Oh crap! We decided to wash her hands with a baby wipe and recheck. 404! He gives a correction bolus and I set my alarm for an hour later.

4:30 -388. She is coming down so she is probably fine. Reset alarm for 2 hrs.

6:30- 394 NO!! I am too tired to think straight so I give another correction and recheck in an hour.

7:30-417 I decide that I should do a site change. I get a new site and place it in her fatty tissue on her hip because it is the only thing I can get to that I think she won't freak out about. (she has an aversion to her tummy or bum being pierced) As soon as the site snaps in place, Bekah erupts in a fit of tears "TAKE IT OUT!! I DON"T WANT IT THERE!" she screams. (she was sound asleep as I placed the inset on her) Before I can say new site she has ripped it out. We used an alcohol wipe to remove the old inset in her leg. This is what we saw.


She wanted a bath to help her calm down so after her bath I gave her a correction via injection and let her rest for an hour or so before we placed a new inset. This time she chose where she wanted it and with no tears it was successfully placed. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is a good one.

Every time I asked her to check for ketones I got tears and stubbornness (so not my Bekah). You can't make a child pee (as we all learned when potty training our wee ones). I have on my list to call the endo on Monday and ask for a script for a blood ketone meter, it can't wait the three or so weeks for our appt. (If you want to know why a blood ketone meter is better, read Reyna's blog about )

I'm not feeling like She-RAH today. Today I feel like a pathetic excuse for a pancreas.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Battle

The battle began at 11:15 PM when I checked Bekah's BG before tucking her in to bed on Friday night. We always let the kids stay up late on Fridays hoping that they will sleep in Sat morning so we might get a few extra winks ourselves. The glucometer read 256. Shoot! I must have SWAGed the cookie I gave her for a snack wrong. I give her a correction bolus and head off to bed while my husband goes to play strategy games with his buddies. It's our Friday night ritual. He is a night owl and Friday nights are the only time he takes time out for himself. He checks again at 3AM when he gets home. "Hey Hon, I got a 345, I'm gonna give her a correction bolus, when should I check again?" We decide on an hour. I decided to check the pump. 42 Units still left but the tubing is wrapped around her body so I disconnect it and fix it a little only to find her soaked and grumpy. (the grumpy I don't blame on D, who wouldn't be grumpy if woken up against your will at 3AM soaked because your BG was sky high) I fixed her bed and got back in mine. I can't sleep so I get up and update my FB status. I don't know who was up at that ungodly hour but I felt like I needed to share. At 4AM her BG was 252.

With a score of 2 to 1 (me being on the losing end) I decided to wait to get out the heavy artillery (a site change and fresh insulin) until morning. At 7:00 I woke with a start and decided to check on Bekah. I find her pump laying beside her, DISCONNECTED. I know I reconnected it after I fixed the tubing, she must have done it in her sleep. BG check 242 (sigh of relief, it could have been so much worse). I have a knot in my stomach, sick with worry that with all of the highs she might have ketones. I don't have a blood ketone monitor and I am not going to wake her up to try to get her to pee. (It is on my list of things to talk to her endo about in a few weeks). I gave her a correction bolus and got my morning coffee (so much for those extra winks). I recheck at 9:00 and got a 217. Time to pull out the big guns and get rid of that 2 that has been leading the numbers all night.

I disconnect the pump and fill it with fresh from the fridge insulin, meanwhile Bekah gets up, takes a bath and removes the old site. New site goes in and BG check is 204. (It only took me 20 min start to finish including her bath) Breakfasts is 30 carbs so I bolus for the HBG along with her meal and wait. At 2.5 hrs later BG is 128. (and the crowd goes wild, folks we have a winner!!) Take that you Damned D!!

I collapse in the recliner feeling a bit like I did after giving birth. Completely exhausted and She-rah like at the same time.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

It is consuming my thoughts...

I read this post today. As I read the comments posted, my heart began to ache and inside I felt so sad. I was in a bit of a funk today and couldn't pin point where it stemmed from. Some events of the day caused a few tears to trickle down my cheeks and once I let the gates open a bit, the flood came. I sobbed and sobbed. I knew the original cause of the tears was not that big so I looked inside and there were some deep feelings about the lack of empathy that I had read earlier in the day.

It's not that I ever want anyone to feel sorry for me or my daughter. We don't need pity. It is that having a child with a chronic illness is difficult and I can't believe the audacity of some people to place judgment when they themselves have never walked an inch let alone a mile in the shoes of a worried, tired, giving their all and that's not even enough parent of a child who has T1D. It makes me feel angry and hurt to read the ignorant words written in those comments.

The article also hit close to home for me (figuratively and literally as we are not far south of Canada). Last school year was not easy. The nurse kept pushing me to get Bekah to give herself shots and kept informing me that there really wouldn't be any other option next school year when she was there all day, because the staff couldn't and wouldn't pierce skin. I was not going to push my daughter in to something she was not ready for. I couldn't think about giving my self shots, how could I expect that from my 6 year old. I had resigned my self to home schooling her, (not a bad option at all in fact I was kind of happy to have an excuse to switch). Bekah, however didn't like the idea of homeschooling and I don't want her to resent D or feel like D kept her from anything. Off to school she will go in 13 days. I have been making plans and forms, filling supply boxes and preparing to do some training. I want every t crossed and every i dotted so that I feel comfortable (not a good word choice, so that I don't spend every waking moment that she is at school, sick with worry, that is better).

You have to read Nicole's comment on the article. I think she did a beautiful job at articulating what needs to be heard by those who lack empathy.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

pumping...getting better?

Thanks so much for all of your encouragement! You guys are truly the greatest!

Things are going better. No more tears when Bekah gets a bolus. =) Second set change on my own took about a half an hour. WOOT! Bekah's cousins have been here to distract her and all of the activity has kept her BG on the low end but numbers are looking good for the most part. We had a day at the coast, Yesterday. I will write about it when I get some sleep (the sleep part is a joke, go ahead and laugh with me). I have been enjoying time with my sister so maybe I will take some time out to write after she heads back home. I also have a big fat dreaded 504 to write and I have been avoiding my computer so I don't have to think about it. Time to go watch my eyelids for a bit (until the next BG check).

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Pumping...the melt downs

Friday morning Bekah woke up with a BG of 188. After she had breakfast she told me that she wanted to go ahead and do a site change and wanted to try using her tummy. I did a two hour check and then decided to call the Animas nurse with numbers (I have to report numbers by phone to a nurse from the pump company for the first 3 days and then can email or fax). Because she has iterated and reiterated that she likes to take off early on Fridays, I thought this would be a good time to call. She is on the East coast so that is mid afternoon my time. We are still on a summer schedule which is similar to last school year where Bekah eats a late breakfast and lunch in the mid afternoon. Since David was playing, I could give the nurse my full attention and avoid some of the irritation that I always hear in her voice. I am a busy mom and she seems to always call me at very inopportune times. I caught her in her car and she vowed to call me back in a "few minutes".

It was nap time so I nursed David to sleep. (he is a very light sleeper and with the kids home this summer, for him to get a decent nap in, some one has to hold him) I checked Bekah's pump and it said 62 units of Novalog were still in the pump. Ugh! I don't want to waste that much insulin. I looked at the clock, it's been over an hour since I had talked to the Animas nurse, I think I will try back and ask about all of this insulin. This time no answer and it's only about a half an hour until this nurse had told me she was off on Fridays. I am a bit irritated but figure she'll call back. I wait a half an hour and try back again. Again I get her voice mail.

If I'm gonna get this site change done with David still a sleep, I better hustle. He is incredibly curious about any gadget or new thing and I was stressed about the first change all on my own. The last thing I needed was him getting in my way. I hand David to Megan (she loves to snuggle her brother for naps) and he stays asleep. I decided to just toss the old insulin because I can't see a way of salvaging it unless I just change the site and not the insulin. I don't want to run the risk of running out. I disconnect the pump, toss the old insulin and fill a new reservoir. There was not enough insulin in the bottle and it left a huge bubble. I tried to prime out the bubble and then was left with probably 50 U. So I toss that and start over with a new bottle. Making sure Bekah is getting the proper amount of insulin is important but it made me sick to toss out that much.

I ask Bekah to remove the old site so we can put a new one on. This is where the first melt down begins. I think my brave little girl had had it with being brave. She began to cry. I had just done a BG check and it was 104. I knew she needed to eat. I thought this set change was going to be quick and then I'd bolus for lunch with the new set hoping that the old one was just in a bad spot and that was why it was hurting her. I put her in the tub to get the old set off. It seems to work much better to soak it off. We have issues with adhesives in our family. Luckily the infusion sets don't burn our skin like band-aides do. (I wore one for 24 hrs to see what it would do, knowing that after a few hours a band-aide will begin to burn my skin) Bekah's skin does better than mine but she still can't have a band-aide on for too long. We soaked off the set and there was a slight rash under it but that went away fairly quickly. While she was in the tub David woke up (great). I was stressed about the site change, I hated that the blouses had been hurting Bekah, I hated that she was melting down over a site change and I felt totally unsupported by Animas (the nurse still had not called me back and it was well past the time she had iterated to me that she was off on Fridays) and now David was awake and would surely be in my way. Here is where my melt down came in. (Our car had been broken in to earlier in the week and our insurance company was not going to replace what was stolen on top of all of this was just a little more than I could take at the moment)

Megan was able to get David to calm down and took him outside to play so I could finish. Daddy came in from his office to let Bekah sit on his lap and we put the new set in her tummy. Immediately, there were lots of tears and complaints that it was uncomfortable and itched. she pulled that one out before it stuck too bad. It bled a little so we put a band-aide on it. Her arm was the next spot she wanted to try so while she calmed down I used the tubing from the tummy set to get the pump ready and primed. Just as I put the set up to her arm the phone rang and it was the Animas nurse. (of course it was, could she have called at a more inopportune time) I told her I would have to call her back. I needed to get Bekah hooked back up to her insulin as it had been about an hour since she was unhooked. Quickly I put the set in her arm. She didn't even need Daddy. No tears. (YES) I had her go pick out lunch while I called the Animas nurse back. I tried twice getting her voice mail both times. When she did call me back she had not listened to any of my messages and said something to the effect of she thought I was going to call her back in a few minutes after I had reached her in the car. She clearly told me she'd call me. UGH! I'm so thankful that I am off having to call in numbers daily and can now email or fax them in.

The arm seems to be working a bit better but Bekah was complaining that it hurt still. I think she is tensing up in anticipation causing it to hurt a little more than it might if she was just relaxed. She is not usually a drama queen so I trust that it is indeed hurting her. I went into the settings and turned the delivery down from 1.0 to 0.1. I realize that will take a long time to get the insulin in her body but what is a few minutes if we have no more tears or complaints. That did the trick until the next morning. Now she is back to complaining about the bolus hurting. She doesn't want a set in her bum so I'm not sure how to help with the hurting. It is discouraging to be honest. I thought that pumping was going to be easier. So far I'm not feeling the easier part...

Total time from start to finish of first set change on my own: 1 hour, 15 min. It has to get better than this!

Friday, August 20, 2010

pumping...the first few days

Tuesday, at 1:00ish our trainer walked us through a total set change with insulin and got all of the ratios, target BG and basal set on Bekah's pump. We did a BG check 442! Was Bekah nervous much? I think so. Poor thing. She did great with her set change. Didn't even flinch. She wants to do one her self soon. She has been practicing with the empty set sans the needle. By the next BG check, Bekah was in range, 174, heading toward the goal of 120. We saw numbers in the 100s all day. The basal was set to temp 0 until 12AM when the Lantus should have worn off from the night before. 3 AM check was 76. We treated it with one 15 cb juice box and got 130, 15min later. That was the first night time low that only took one treatment. She held pretty steady waking up with a 145. Day two was mostly 130ish except for a random low late afternoon. Then at midnight we got an 80 again only one treatment to bring it up. Then pretty much the same scenario happened today as yesterday with numbers in the 130ish and then a crash in the late afternoon. The Animas nurse decided it would be a good idea to lower the basal rate on Bekah's pump to 0.175. I am hoping we don't see many highs with this new setting.

After dinner tonight, my husband ran to the store for milk and bought a brownie mix that he whipped up when he got home. (yes I married well) We had a night time snack of brownies which I had cut in to 10 carb (or bite sized) squares. Bekah wanted another brownie but instead of asking for one she started jumping and spinning around so her BG would go low and she'd get another with out a fuss. She was successful to my dismay and got her wish. BG check =81 and a small brownie seemed like the best was to get a slow steady BG increase. I told her the next time she tried to go low on purpose, she'd get liver and onion flavored carbs. (not sure where to get that but maybe the threat will be enough) I don't want to torture her and getting that BG up fast is important but I didn't like her game and am certainly not going to encourage it.

Today we went to a picnic at my mom's work. I saw many people that I know. My mom has been with the company since I was about 10. My mom is an educational therapist for a pediatric therapy center. She created and teaches a preschool program to 2.5 year olds with special needs. In our state the kids with special needs start school at 3. 3hrs a day 5 days a week and they ride the bus. Both the kids and their parents need a transition so that is why my mom created the program they have. One gal (I know she was well meaning) asked me about Bekah and then asked if we had it all figured out. I know she didn't realize what she was asking and was trying to be kind and show some care. I have to admit though that is one of the most frustrating questions that I get asked. ALL FIGURED OUT would mean that I, a mere human, knew the complexities and intricacies of a human organ created by God Himself and was adept at second guessing the way Bekah's body was going to react to everything she puts in it. That is not taking in account sick days, growth spurts, hormones, nerves etc. Humans were not meant to play the roll of the pancreas but I do give it my best shot. I will NEVER have it ALL FIGURED OUT.

As I have been typing this out, I stopped to check Bekah's BG for the 12AM check. 244! I decided to leave it alone and see what happens for the 3 Am check.

The other issue that we are having is my sweet little girl fights back tears every time we give her a bolus. She says it hurts just as the insulin is being delivered. She rarely cried for an injection and doesn't even flinch when we put a new set in. I feel so bad for her. I offered to do a set change. She won't have that though. We had decided that Sat mornings and Tuesday after school would be the best time to do those changes so she is holding out. I'm going to try to talk her in to changing it tomorrow. (later today) She is such a rule follower though, she'd rather suffer that break the routine that we have set up.

It's getting late and my head is bobbing between sentences so I'm going to post this now. Please forgive any punctuation and spelling errors.

One quick questions for fellow pumpers. What does the site look like when you remove an old site? (Bekah has a small red bump that looks like a vaccine was given in that spot, I'm just wondering if that is normal)

Oh and one other quick note. David had his 18 month well child check up. I do selective vaccinating and only give one at a time to keep his body from being overwhelmed. With all of the autoimmune stuff in our family, I just figure it is better to be safe. Anyway he got his final DTaP and didn't even flinch. I showed him the shot and told him it was like Bekah's insulin and it was going to keep him healthy and all I got was a look like ouch but no tears, no yelling, no nothing. I was so proud of him and I know it is because he has such a brave example to look to every day as she rarely complains about all of the injections she gets. (I know some of you who read my blog are anti-vax, I have done the research and this is what I feel fits my family best)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Whew! What a morning...

My older 3 kids are occupied with friends and David is playing nicely by himself in the playroom, bringing me the occasional "dink" (pretend cup of something from the play kitchen). So, while I have a moment or two I will give you an update on our long awaited exciting morning.

You may remember from yesterday's post that the pump was supposed to be here by 10:00 AM. 10:00 came and went and no UPS man, no pump. Tick, tick, tick...still no pump. I checked outside all around the door, looked down the street for the infamous brown truck, nothing. Lots of deep breaths, tick, tick, tick. At 10:30 my husband called the pharmacy to get the tracking number to see what has happened to our promised 10:00 AM delivery time. Apparently the shipping department failed to see the 10:00 AM and the pump was on it's way, next day air, with a 3:00 PM delivery time. By the time he got through the hold music and to a real live person, the time was 10:50, too late to cancel the Animas rep who was scheduled for 11:00 AM to do our training.

Our rep showed up at 10:55 and decided that she would walk us through some information and place an infusion set on Bekah so that she knew what it felt like prior to the real deal. Bekah was a bit apprehensive so I decided I would go first. The rep showed me how to place the set and just before we put it on the doorbell rang. YES!! It was the UPS man and our pump.

We had ordered the inset 30s because I was told they would work better for someone with less fat on their body. (A regular inset is placed at a 90 degree angle and just goes straight in with a 6mm cannula and a 30 goes in at a 30 degree angle with a 13mm cannula) I placed both types on me, one in each leg. Bekah picked the location so we'd be the same. The regular inset I didn't even feel. The 30 hurt like H-E-double hockey sticks and sent shooting pains down my leg. I put on a great poker face though =). I don't think Bekah had a clue.

Next it was Bekas turn. No magic cream (I didn't even ask about it). She cried at the thought of going next. We talked about how something new can be scary. I told Bekah I was nervous too but it really didn't hurt. (I wasn't lying, the regular inset didn't hurt and that was the one I was placing on her). I got the prize box down and as soon as she decided what her prize would be for being brave (she chose a sparkly sand filled lady bug), Bekah climed up on Daddy's lap and before she even knew what was happening, I had placed the inset. Easy, breasy, beautiful! =)

We hooked it up to the pump with no insulin and learned about each screen and how to do a bolus and set basal rates etc. Bekah is still wearing the inset with the pump attached and we have done a couple of practice boluses. She giggles each time and says it tickles. (After the rep left I called the pharmacy and ordered regular insets in pink-I'm hoping they will grant our wish of pink insets.)

Today hit another big milestone for me. Bekah had her first away play date. This afternoon she went to play at a friends house. I have only left her with her dad since she was dx in March. Every time we get together with friends, either I stay or they come to us. It's not just any friend that I am leaving her with. This is another D-mom whose daughter was dx more than 5 years ago. They have been pumping for a couple of years. I will pick Bekah up later at a local park where we are having a meet up with other D-families.



edited at 12:00 AM 8/14

Our day got more interesting. We met up at the park and had a pretty good time. Bekah was sad to leave her friend. We left around 8:30 and headed home. Bekah had a couple of treats that we let go uncovered by insulin because we didn't know how active she would be at the park and it was a hot day so we weren't sure how the heat was going to affect her BG. David was begging for milk but it was to hot to nurse him in the car. I just wanted to get home so we could get everyone settled, feed David in an air conditioned house (nursing when it is hot out is not my favorite activity) and get the appropriate amount of insulin in Bekah.

My husband knew how bad I wanted to get home so he chose to ignore the gas light. We made it to our exit before running out if gas. Neither of us had run out gas since our teens so we had to discuss our plan. We have road side assistance on our insurance. Easy, we'll just call the number, they will send someone with gas and we'll be home with in an hour. Or so we thought.

It took the road assistance guy almost an hour to get there with the gas, meanwhile David is crying because I wouldn't get him out. He fights me almost every time I try to put him in his seat and the side of the freeway at night is no place for a car seat struggle. Plus Bekah's BG was high and she had to pee. The first two gallons of gas did nothing so the guy went and got more gas. Still the car would not start.

Jason and I were brainstorming what to do next. Our parents were out if town. We probably needed to call a tow truck. We called our son who was at home worried about why we weren't home yet and while we were on the phone with him, a friend of ours came by our house. We had him come get us in shifts and called the tow truck to come get the car. Once home (it was now nearly 11), I gave Bekah her Lantus and checked her BG ...342. We did a correction bolus and played around with the pump some more, doing fake boluses etc.

We all got home safe and sound and are hoping that the car starts fine in the morning. Did you have any crazy Friday the 13th happenings?

It feels like Christmas Eve...

I am sitting here at a few minutes past midnight with visions of infusion sets and basal rates dancing in my head. Our pink One Touch Pump will be here tomorrow along with a trainer to teach us all of the new lingo and such. I'm excited and nervous all wrapped up in a ball. I know things are going to be easier with the school not being able to hassle me about skin piercing, but is the learning curve going to send me over the edge? I'm excited for Bekah to have more freedom and independence with her diabetes care. I'm nervous to let go even a little as she begins to take the reins. I'm afraid of becoming lazy. I always want to be her loudest cheerleader and biggest support in whatever life throws her way or path she chooses!

I have to give kudos to my awesome husband as he fought some pretty nasty dragons for me today! Yesterday, I got a call from the Animas rep that would be doing our training saying that we would have our pump today. The pharmacy was supposed to call me on Monday but I had not heard anything from them. I had planned to call them yesterday afternoon but didn't when I heard from Animas because I figured they had the correct information. The pharmacy called today to verify our address and my husband kindly let them know that we had a trainer set up for the following day and we needed the pump for the training. To make a long story short the pharmacy is sending the pump next day air with a 10 AM delivery at their expense.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out. The trainer is supposed to be here at 11 and the pump at 10. Talk about cutting it close! Although it won't be delivered by a man in a red suit, I am hoping and praying for a brown paper package with a beautiful pink gift inside and probably won't sleep much as anxiety and excitement fill the night air.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Finally I can get some relief...

You may have read my lament a few weeks ago about all of the things going wrong in my life. One of which was a yucky, itchy eczema type rash all over my torso and down my legs. I saw a naturopathic doctor today. She is amazing! She knew exactly (once the labs come back she will know for sure) what's going on with me. I am having an autoimmune reaction to a severe vitamin D deficiency. (One of the joys of living in the NW is we don't get much sun and Vitamin D deficiency is common) She put me on probiotics and a heckofa lot of vit D. She also called in a cream to a compounding pharmacy that should heal the skin from the outside. Hopefully in a few days the nasty rash will be on it's way out the door, never to return again.

Littlest Heroes preview (edited)

Today we had our Littlest Heroes photo shoot. You may have seen Hallie's post on Avery's session. Tonight after our photo session with Lindsey, she sent me one preview shot. I can't wait to see the rest! I got a couple more shots from her. Enjoy =)

Monday, August 9, 2010

The Knight in Shining Armor, Hang gliding and brother torture

Yesterday we spent the day enjoying our once a year tradition of hanging out at the county fair. Ever since I was in a youth organization that had a food both at the fair where I volunteered to work every year, the fair has been a tradition. My husband even proposed to me at the fair, on top of the tables during lunch on a busy Saturday afternoon. Not the most elegant place to be proposed to but we were just kids and it was a fun place for a teenage girl to be swept off her feet. 19 years ago, less than 8 weeks after my high school graduation, I became a bride to be.

We rode rides where Joshua was tortured by the extremely loud music (they were playing Justin Beiber). Bekah's favorite ride is the hang glider. Her bravery amazes me. She bounded right up to some pretty scary rides (you wouldn't catch me on them). Never once did she cry or want to get off.

We saw the animals where David checked out the chicks. (sorry I couldn't help it)

We watched a show. Knights of the Realm. They did jousting and sword fighting. It was fun and entertaining for the whole family.Bekah got a flower from the knight that won the competitions. He even kissed it before he tossed it to her.

I had to do some tricky bolusing to accommodate for the activity and high fat food and had a long night of checking BG to see what was going on. The numbers that I saw were pretty good for the most part just needed that TLC of gentle tweaks here and there. It was all worth it to watch my kids laughing and having fun!

Friday, August 6, 2010

The good, the bad and the ugly

The good I'm going to save for the end because I like to close on a happy note. Either hang on knowing the good is coming or if you want to skip the yucky stuff just scroll down to the end and be joyous along with me.

The bad, was Megan's dx today from the GI doc. It could be far worse and I am thankful that it is not, but I still had a difficult time swallowing what I was told. The doc thinks she has fatty liver. She is 12 years old! Fatty liver?! I thought that was for old obese people. Megan does have a weight issue and I have been ever so gently trying to help her with this. It is a difficult thing to keep a delicate preteen heart from breaking in to pieces. The world is cruel enough when it comes to physical appearance, the last thing she needs is for her mom to be sending her messages that there is something wrong with her. I feel like a really bad mom for letting it get to this though. I can't go back but I can start today by taking walks with my daughter, encouraging physical activity and modeling healthy eating habits.

The ugly. Two days ago David had his first real big boy puke. I'm talking projectile, chunky spew. I'm the type of mom that just holds my kids and lets them just puke on me, trying to comfort them in the moment. I figure I can shower and I would rather clean up me than the carpet or furniture. (as they get older it's a little different but as babies I was the target of each of their first puke) Sorry if that was TMI. This was not the ugly part, that came later. Later that day, I picked David up from his nap and he was soaked (with pee). I had just changed him prior to his nap. I took my already grumpy boy and faster than you can say "hokey pokey" I was checking his blood sugar. 112. Whew...Please tell me you would have done the same (check his blood sugar), because I felt like a bit of a freak. That was the ugly. D is so much uglier than being puked on and I hate that I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hate that D is taking up most of my brain, seeping into those places where I used to remember where my keys were or important papers etc. I hate this awful disease!

Now on to the good. Drum roll please... We got approved for the pump! The insurance company reviewed my appeal and the approved the pump! I will be getting a call on Monday to let me know when it will be here. I already order the sparkly pink zipps pouch to go with the beautiful pink pump that Bekah will be sporting soon =).

Have a great weekend all!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

camp photos

Bekah had a blast at camp! When I got there to pick her, Megan and Jason up, I saw my usually shy girl following around one of the male counselors with her disposable camera like the paparazzi.

At camp they made the parents take a backseat to D care. Only counselors and camp staff were allowed to do BG checks, give insulin and treat lows. Mostly they assisted the kids with these activities as their goal is to help the kids learn some self care at camp. We heard about at least 4 kids who gave themselves their first shot at camp. While the kids and their siblings were playing, they offered classes and discussion times for the parents.

They gave us a CD with hundreds of photos and I picked a few of Bekah's favorites to share with you. As you can see it's like just about any summer camp you'll find; they have cool counselors, crafts, games, swimming, and fun skits. This camp has two unique things about it; one is that it is the only place in the world that has a tree that grows sugarless bubblegum and the other is that they do a phenomenal job of caring for kids with diabetes while making camp FUN!

the cool counselors

the families "on the log"

according to Bekah, the coolest counselor "Ace"

craft time

game time

more games



hunting for the bubblegum tree

waiting for BG checks

a final photo before we left of my smitten little camper

Sunday, August 1, 2010


Where I live we have Gales Creek Camp just an hour or so away. I have heard nothing but praises about this camp since Bekah was dx. We decided since she is so shy and we are not ready to let her be away overnight let alone a week, that we'd do family camp this year. Josh was already going to be gone that weekend to rafting camp with his best friend and their church youth group. I signed up 3 people. There were not accommodations for anyone under 3 and David would need either Mommy or Daddy to stay with him.

Today, I dropped of my girls and husband at camp. I decided that with him still nursing that I needed to stay with David and Jason could be with the girls. I was invited to hang out for the afternoon but David was being his usual, loud, busy toddler self and it was best for us to head home after getting the rest of the family checked in and meeting the camp staff.

Family camp is only about a 30 hour preview of the real deal. Here I sit, 15 hours with out thinking about BG levels, insulin to carb ratios and food for the most part. Ah what a nice break. I'm sitting here holding a sleeping baby and not worried about how I am going to put him down with out waking him to check Bekah's BG. I haven't had to worry about keeping him distracted so I could help Bekah with an injection or worry about making sure her Lantus is given to her at a certain time. I was able to eat dinner and then after a while get out the ice cream for David and I (rice dream because he has dairy allergies) with out worrying about Bekah wanting some and how it was going to effect her BG.

I miss my man and my girls a ton! The house is WAY too quiet! One day though is about all I can handle and just what I needed =). I can't wait to hear about all of the fun they had and how excited they will be to go back next year. I am actually contemplating sending Bekah next year for the week. We are hoping to coordinate weeks with a friend. I can't think about it just yet though.