Tuesday, June 29, 2010

David works the D

David is my very busy 16 month old. He has figured out at his young age that when mommy is busy giving Bekah insulin or carb counting that I can't multi task very well. There has been more than one occasion when I have accidentally left a container of baby wipes on the floor just asking to be emptied. He is quick too. Before you can say bolus he has the entire container in a giant wad on the floor. Toilet paper is his other favorite. If a roll is left with in his reach, when I am other wise occupied (usually with D stuff), it's a goner, strewn all over the house. (Maybe it's pay back for t.p.ing my youth pastor's house when I was a teen.) He latest trick is to grab "poke poke" (Bekah's lancing device that we affectionately call Hokey Pokey) when no one is looking and R U N as fast as his little legs will take him giggling all the way. This little guy definitely gives me a run for my money. He is such a happy little guy though it's hard to get angry even for a minute.

Caught in the act =)

Friday, June 25, 2010

Big events

First off I just want to say thanks for all of the kind words of encouragement. You all lifted my spirits and made me feel a ton better after our bad visit with the CDE. You gals ROCK!! It also helps that I made no changes to Bekah's regimen and her numbers were beautiful. I knew once the infection was gone we'd be back on track. From now on I will try to be better at turning off my ears when someone tries to discourage. "La la la la -I can't hear you discouragers" =)

Big event number one- Last night was Bekah's first sleepover with a friend. (At our house of course) Fun times! We discovered that the girls' birthdays are just a day apart and made some plans for a special girl time birthday. Bekah is not big on big parties so we decided this year we would just take one friend out for a mani/pedi and lunch. Bekah's b-day is exactly one month from today. If we have the money, I might just have to treat my self to a pedi too. I can't wait! =)

Big event number two- For you to see that this was indeed a big event for us, I feel like I need to let you in on Bekah's personality a little. Bekah is a sweet, shy, sensitive little girl. She likes knowing what is expected of her so she can do what is right. I have had to discipline her very little. She is just a good kid. Sometimes I wonder where she came from. Although I love them the same I can't say this of my other kids. They are your typical kids and get in to trouble their share of the time. Not bad kids by any stretch but you know kids. If Bekah has downfalls they are that she can be a little over sensitive (she gets that from me) and she doesn't like to talk about her feelings etc (I'm a stuffer so maybe she gets that from me too). Each time I have brought up the idea of a pump she has shied away. I don't want to push an agenda on her but I want her to be informed as to what is out there for her in managing diabetes. I want her to feel confident and comfortable with what ever method she chooses. I have shown her pictures of kids wearing their pumps and the pretty colors they come in. (Addy is our favorite since the girls are just a few weeks apart) We have a friend whose 6 yr old daughter was dx at 14 months and she is pumping so she has shown us her pump and how it works. I know that being at school 6 hrs a day next year, having a pump will make it so much easier for both Bekah and I. I want to hear her voice on the whole thing though. It's her body and she is the one who is suffering from this disease. There are times when as mom I just have to make the decision. This is one that I will not just jump to with out her input though.

The past few weeks each time I get the syringe out to give Bekah her Lantus, she squirms or complains a little. The first complaints I have heard from her since we got home from the hospital. We have had some weird numbers at night that require me to mix the Novalog and Lantus into the syringe as to have to only give one poke. (I hate mixing- makes me so nervous and then I second guess for the rest of the night if I did it right) A couple of nights ago, Bekah stood up, put her hands on her hips and boldly said, "I want a pump!" I am so proud of her!! Not for choosing the pump but for voicing her opinion and so boldly. It was not aggressive because she doesn't have an aggressive bone in her body but precise and bold. GO BEKAH!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


We had an appt with a CDE today. This particular lady I had never met before in person but on the phone was always nothing but nice. We arrived at our appt only to have to wait for her for over 1/2 an hour. I am usually very gracious when it comes to tardiness because I am not always Miss Punctual myself. It was the rest of the appt that caused me to become irritated. She argued with me about the number of classes we still had to take. It wasn't really what was said but her manner in saying it. She talked for an hour and 20 min and I thought this was to be a 40 min class. No big deal, I love to learn especially about D. At the end of the appt she looked at Bekah's numbers from the glucometer download. She made a face and then with a smile on her face basically told me that I am crap.

Bekah has been sick this week. Yes she had some 200s but I didn't make any changes because, well she was sick. I thought I was doing good to keep her under 300 while sick and keep ketones at bay.

I cried the whole way home.

I'm feeling a bit discouraged and like I don't know anything anymore.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Last day

Finally, today was the last day of school for my kiddos. My husband, a web developer by trade, took on a part time teaching gig this year in a different school district from our kids and he got done on Thursday. Unfortunately due to some budget cuts he won't have that opportunity next year so this summer he is trying to generate income how ever he can. The kids had a half day today. The sun was in rare form so we got to play outside and then had our annual last day of school dinner, ice cream sundaes!! I am now the proud mom of a 10th, 7th and 1st grader (can't leave out my 16 month old). I'm so proud of my kids. They each had challenges that they had to overcome this year and they fared well. Bekah's teacher made the comment that she made a marked improvement in math during this past trimester. Hmmm another positive thing about T1-the constant math =). Here are some photos from the day =)

Bekah and David had a blast making mud pies after school today.

I was too preoccupied with trying to count all of the carbs in Bekahs creation that I forgot to put a bib on David. Life is more fun when it's messy right?

Bekah thoroughly enjoyed her treat! =)

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Kindergarten graduation

Bekah was a sick little girl this week but the antibiotics did their job and she was able to get back to school today, just in time for graduation.

After walking in to Pomp and Circumstance, the children each stood to tell what they learned this year. Bekah says here that she learned to count to 100. (she is very shy and has a quiet voice). I wish I would have kept the camera rolling because the girl next to her said the same and the boy that was after her said, he learned to count to 200. LOL Kids are so cute.

Next the teacher called each name and handed out the diplomas.

And finally...

I was so proud of my self for not crying during the ceremony. Have you heard of the toddler rules? For me it applies to crying. When Bekah brought home the announcement that she would be having a graduation celebration I cried. As we sat at the bus stop this afternoon, I cried. This was such a monumental moment for Bekah. She has come so far and gone through so much this year. I'm so glad to have gotten her to this moment. We came so close to losing her in March, and my heart was overjoyed to get to celebrate this day with her.

Here is Bekah on the first day of school and then today with her teacher. Only 2 more very short days and summer break will begin.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Sick Days

Sunday late afternoon, Bekah came in from playing and laid down on the couch next to me. "I'm tired," she said. Immediately I ask her how her BG feels. "fine, I'm just tired". She probably over did it a little the day before when the sun was out, a rare sight this year here in the NW. Still it reminded me so much of the way she was prior to her dx that I felt uneasy. She decided to sleep on the floor in my room that night.

At 12AM she woke up crying that her ear hurt. I felt her head and decided she was a little warm. I'm not the kind of mom that takes my kids' temp all of the time. I usually do the kiss the forehead method and only if they are burning up do I hunt down the thermometer. I gave her some acetaminophen to help her sleep. Again I don't give my kids meds for every sniffle, I believe that our bodies were made to fight off illness and so if they have a mild fever I let it burn unless it is interrupting their sleep. With D it's a different story. I have to know if Bekah has a temp even a mild one so I know to check for ketones. It was 99.1 I decided that I was going to make an appt to have her ear looked at first thing in the morning. She has never had an ear infection before but there is a first for everything. The next morning she woke up with a tummy ache. "my ear doesn't hurt anymore" she beamed but then her face fell a little "but my tummy kind of hurts." No sooner did she get downstairs when the blue Power Aide Zero that she had been sipping on that morning came back up. (sorry TMI) I immediately had her check for ketones. Only trace. "whew" I could feel my blood pressure rise a little because I know managing T1 can get a little tricky when puking is involved. So much for taking her to the doc. I didn't want to infect anybody else or deal with puking in the doc's office if she only had a virus.

We checked BG levels and ketones every 2 hrs all day. Only one episode of trowing up. No ketones except for the trace that we got that morning and her BG level was great all day. She held pretty steady in the high 100s to low 200s. This was so much easier than what I expected on a sick day. I had heard nightmare stories about super high numbers and ketones. I put Bekah to bed that night fully expecting her to go to school the next day.

Tuesday morning Bekah got up and boldly stated that she was better, could she go to school. I told her we had to check 3 things, her BG, her temp and ketones and if all checked out then she was good to go. Her temp was 99.6 (hmm if all else is ok I'll prob let her go), BG was 99 (a little low to wake up but nothing we can't quickly fix), ketones were moderate. Where the heck did those darn ketones come from?! I got out my cheat sheet from the day before and treated the ketones plus 15 carbs for breakfast. I looked at her number again, 99. 99! Crap, she is going to plummet with that much insulin in her system. I had just had a 60 min class on sick days. I failed my test :( . I called up our D education team and left a crazy message in my panic on the sick day hot-line. They were so sweet when the called me back and told me to just give her 30 uncovered carbs and by lunch she should be around 200. Sure enough by lunch time she was at 186 and ketones were gone.

This is the last full week of school and kindergarten graduation is Friday. Poor Bekah, who loves school, had already missed two of those last few days. I looked at her at dinner and saw a little green discharge coming from her eye. (NO!!) Being the mom of four, I have seen this before and it is a telltale sign of a secondary infection. Hoping it would go away and was nothing, maybe even my imagination, I put Bekah to bed again with the hope of her heading back to school the next morning.She didn't seem to have much energy but I figured that would come back in due time.

Wednesday Bekah woke up with puffy eyes and lots of discharge, a temp of 99.6 and moderate ketones again.Our regular pediatrician didn't have room to squeeze us in but I did get in with another doc. Bekah hates going to the doctor so I talked up this lady that I have never met all morning to try to keep Bekah from crying. The doc actually exceeded my expectations. She was amazing! She was so good with Bekah too. It turns out that Bekah's ears are both infected and her ear canal in her right ear is also infected. She has conjunctivitis as well. We were given 3 scripts and we headed to the pharmacy to have them filled.

At the pharmacy poor little Bekah kept feeling worse and worse. I could tell because she seemed to be literally shrinking. As usual, one of the scripts wasn't covered by our insurance company so the pharmacy, the doc and the insurance company had to duke it out to get something that would help Bekah get better, that was covered. I left with the other two and went home to wait for them to call about the eye drops.

We stopped quickly to get Bekah's favorite lunch, deli mac-n-cheese. Both kids were sleeping by the time I got there so I contemplated skipping it. I knew that when Bekah woke up and there was no promised mac-n-cheese that I would have a flood of tears to deal with. As much as I hated it, I woke her up to go in the store. (I put David in the Mai Tai- I love that thing-he didn't even have a clue he was being transported).

Back home Bekah had her meds, ate some mac-n cheese and then laid down on the couch where I read to her for a couple of hours. She loved that and loved that she is so very close now to getting her first prize from the summer reading program at our local library. Then she napped. She woke up just long enough to test for ketones (negative) and eat dinner. Jason was home but being a teacher and this being the final week of school he had a ton of work to do so I packed up David and left the other kids in his care and went back to the pharmacy to retrieve the eye drops. When I got home I woke Bekah up just enough to get the drops in.

As I sit here and type this, it is Thursday morning. I am waiting for Bekah to get up so we can access the situation and see if school is in order today. I seriously doubt it. Tomorrow she has to be there for kinder graduation so, it's probably going to be best for her to rest one more day. Her BG at 2AM was 215. I haven't figured out how to check for ketones in the night because she wears as pull-up. I'm pretty sure she will wake up with her eyes glued shut. She will have to hang out with Daddy part of the day (today he is just packing up his classroom) because I have a pre-op appt with her dentist and she doesn't need to be there. She has a hard time with procedures and talk of them. I'm so ready for my little princess to feel better so we can enjoy our summer. (that is if the sun will ever stop playing shy)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Doin' the Insulin

I am one of those crazy people that will spontaneously break out in song and dance in the middle of the kitchen just to lighten the mood. I have even been found chasing my kids around with a farting elbow (don't ask). I have done my best to keep the same light mood with D. We do stickers and prizes for almost everything. I had Bekah put stickers on her lancing device and eventually got her to name it. She chose "Hokey Pokey". The lancets that go in Hokey Pokey are simply "Lance". Her meter is "Mator the meter" and the strips are "Tips the strips". It keeps the not so fun daily D stuff positive. One day when I thought we were all about to loose it I made up a song and dance called "doin' the Insulin". We don't do it every day but it does put a smile on Bekah's face when she is not so much in the mood for D.

Please excuse the messy playroom in the back ground and the shaky camera, I was dancing. I was going to try to re-record this and have had this archived for quite a while but I needed a laugh tonight. (I'll catch you up in a couple of days on our first D sick days.) Here you get to officially meet my precious little Bekah and hear the real voice behind my blog. Enjoy!

Friday, June 11, 2010

our soggy day at the zoo

We live in the Pacific Northwest. Normally I dispute the fact that we get SO much rain as many who don't live here insist. This year though has been particularly wet and rainy. In fact in the last 40-60 days I think I can count on one hand the number of times Mr. Sun has come out to play. Bekah's kindergarten field trip to the zoo was scheduled for today. June seems like a safe month to schedule and out door field trip. The chances are probably greater than 50% that you'll get a little sun at least. Today was just as wet and soggy as a typical November day here in the PNW. Off to the zoo we went anyway. You could say we had a few extra animals at the zoo t0day because it was raining cats and dogs. (Sorry I couldn't help myself )

Bekah is normally in PM kindergarten but on field trip days all of the kids come in the morning and have lunch then return in the early afternoon before the other kids are out of school. Bekah got up early and we did a BG check. 247 hmmm, probably all of the excitement. I decided not to give an extra bolus to compensate for the HBGL. She only had eggs and cheese for breakfast (normally I would have insisted on a few carbs so she could get some insulin in her system). I drove Bekah to school and made sure all was a go and headed to the zoo.

David and I had to go separate because although I probably could have found a sitter if I would have searched, I didn't want to have to worry about how he was doing as well as worry about Bekah too. David couldn't go on the bus so I decided it would work best if I was just part of the general public that day and just meet up with the class before lunch. I love cell phones. We were able to text across the sea of children to be able to locate each other.

I had a lot of anxiety going in to the day. There was so much to think about and pack. I felt like I was taking a newborn baby on her first outing. Did I pack everything I would need taking account for Murphy as well? I felt a little like the tightrope that I have become accustomed to balancing on just got thinner and higher.

Part way through the trip the well meaning chaperon that was in charge of Bekah's group started handing out crackers to the kids. "Can Bekah have a couple?" she asked. Deep breath, "she can have some peperoni or a cheese stick". Then I look at Bekah's sunken face. "Ok she can have a couple." I replied quickly. I hated D at that moment!

For lunch we ducked into a little dry corner. Bekah's BG was 211. The other kids did not want to stay put long and we had quite a bit more to see not to mention the hike to the top of the exit, so I decided not to bolus and just wait to see where her numbers were at before getting on the bus and make a correction accordingly then. After we made our way through the rest of the animals and got to the bus her number was 192. No bolus again because I didn't know which direction that 192 was going and didn't want her to have to deal with a low on the bus.

In spite of my anxiety we enjoyed our time at the zoo. David was quite a trooper in the stroller. He got a little fussy at the end so, I put him in the mai tai and sang "Going to the zoo" and "Raindrops are falling on my head" to him for the remainder of the time. He was a happy camper.

Only a true NW girl would brave the day with out an umbrella. =)

When we got home I made myself a warm cup of coffee (there is a reason we N Westerners drink so much coffee-rain), tossed the kids in a warm bath and then got them dressed in their pjs for some cuddle time. I was secretly hoping for a nap. Here is where the excitement came in. I had Bekah do a BG check before her snack. The meter greeted us. (Hi) Umm...say again? (for those of you not in the D world a greeting from your meter is NEVER a good thing) Inside I could feel my stomach trying to braid it's self but on the outside in my best poker voice I calmly said "Why don't you try washing your hands and we'll check again". #2-511, Bekah didn't like that number so #3-482, #4-509, #5-519. I put on my She-rah hat (thanks for the word picture Meri) and gave a bolus to compensate for the HBGL and the carbs in her snack. I gave her a 32 oz water bottle and told her to work on it. Try to drink at least half was my instruction. A few ketone checks through out the afternoon and evening all came back negative. 2hrs postprandial we had a 273 (whew, it's getting better) and then an hour later we had 107! Success!! (Deep breath) Put the She-rah hat back on the hook until next time.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

3 months

Today marks the 3 month anniversary of the worst day of my life and the day that Bekah was diagnosed with T1. The last 3 months have taught me so much!

I have learned so much about T1 and how the body functions in regard to processing food. 3 months ago I would have given you a deer- in- the- headlights look if you would have asked me about Islets of Langerhans and had only heard the term Beta cell in passing. Now it's our life. I even know what a pancreas looks like! 3 months ago I never gave a second thought to numbers and now I live in the world of numbers and ratios and carb counting.

I have learned to be even more compassionate as I watch Bekah push past fears to get her insulin. Sometimes she does great and other times there are tears. I hate the tears they make me cry. Sometimes though she is just a little stubborn and does everything she can think of to procrastinate a shot or finger prick. This is where the learned compassion has come in. I have to be firm but still compassionate. It's a different kind of compassion. She is a very sensitive little girl so there is a very fine line for her between firm and hurting her feelings. The balance can be tricky. I have to put everything else that I have going on at the time aside (not easy for a mother of 4) and focus, really focus on Bekah.

I have to be honest and say that I have lost myself a little in the headlights of Diabetes. I am one to always put my family and their needs first. With T1 the needs are constant and I leave little room for my self. The way that I cope with stress is to eat. I comfort myself with food. Not good. It leads to weight gain and feeling crappy about myself and I spiral down to a bad place. This week I realized that I need to find myself again in the mess of D and busy toddler season that David is in. I need to do it for my kids. I know I will be a better mom if I can find my passions and press into them a little. My passions are really mostly my family so it may take some work to find. I want set a good example for my kids to see that life is full of joy, D or no D. That we don't sit around and wallow in our stress and eat ourselves in to oblivion but we get out and experience all that life has to offer. I have always believed in living life to the fullest!

The most important lesson for me in all of this has been that I don't have the answers. I have always known that but wanted to be self sufficient. I have leaned on God to get through tough times in the past but not like this. This is a daily climb back up in Papa's lap and let Him really lead the day. In the past I have tried to convince myself I was letting God lead but really my own agenda was always getting in the way. I've got nothing and He has everything. I need to come to him daily, sometimes hourly and sometimes even more often and let Him fill me up. I have a constant dialog going on with Him in my head and this is not a new thing for me. My words have changed and I just sit in His presence more often now. I used to feel like my day needed to be spent in constant prayer for others. D has emptied me so much that first and foremost I need to sit at my Daddy's feet and let Him give me all that I need and then take the time to bring others before Him.

God tells us in His word to be thankful for everything. I am not at the place where I am thankful for T1D, although I am at the place where I am thankful for the lessons that I am just beginning to learn and the way that I am changing because I love and live with a child who has Juvenile Diabetes.

(I didn't want to write a separate blog for this one so forgive the skipping around) On another note, Bekah had her very first appointment with her endocrinologist yesterday. Her doc is amazing! She talked to Bekah not at her and included her in all of the conversation, as much as Bekah would allow anyway (she is quite shy).

Bekah's A1C was 7.6!! (to me that was a huge accomplishment when 3 months ago she was at 15.1)

In the last 3 months she has gained back the 14 pounds that she lost and grew an inch. It feels so good to have my healthy girl back! My sister just mentioned the other day, "wow, Bekah looks so good!" Yes she does. It is hard to see on a daily basis as a child's health declines or increases because the changes are so subtle.

We talked a bit about starting the pumping process. I'm not ready to add the newness just yet. I want summer to be a little more relaxing and trying to learn something new will, I think, add more stress. We were given the go ahead to schedule a pump class to find out more info. Bekah will be the one to make the final decision. She is open to the idea. For now though MDI is working for us.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

THAT girl

I was only 22 when I first laid eyes on him but I knew instantly that I was in love. A love beyond my previous comprehension, a love that would surpass time. For the first time in my life, my heart was swelled so full of love that it felt as if it was residing outside of my body. After almost 3 days of arduous labor including 5 intense hours of pushing and then an emergency c-section in which the anesthesia was not working properly, one look in his tiny little face and I knew, for him, I would do it all over again in a heart beat. March 11, 1995 was the day Joshua was born and the day I began wearing the honor of being called Mom.

As the years have gone by I have watched my baby boy turn into a man. It seems as if 15 months have passed when in reality it has been 15 years. I woke up one morning a few months ago and there was a man who was not my husband living under my roof. When did he get so tall and his voice get so deep? Where did the time go? Where did my little boy go? When he was a little guy I swore I would never forget what his chubby little hands looked like (thank goodness for better knowing preschool teachers who made sure those little hands made their way into the ink so I would have a reference), Now those chubby hands have been replaced with large manly hands.

A few weeks ago I watched as my son walked home from the bus arm in arm with a girl. I felt strangely irritated inside. I have never seen him with a girl before, not like that anyway. When I relayed the story to my sisters I referred to her in a snotty tone as THAT girl. To make matters worse she lives right across the street. When I heard how immature my words sounded I realized that I was a tad bit jealous. She seems to be a very sweet girl and I mean no disrespect to her. I knew one day he would fall in love but what I didn't know was how I would feel about it. I want the best for him and I want him to find happiness it's just all happening so darn fast.

Can someone please put the train in reverse and go back and pause on that 10 year old who let me hug and kiss him goodnight, or that sweet 5 year old who picked the most beautiful dandelion bouquets, or that curious toddler who was always trying to figure out how things worked, or that happy, content with the world baby boy? We have had our ups and downs and everywhere in betweens. Like the days when he suffered from asthma as a small tot. He has since out grown the asthma but I remember nights when all I could do was watch him sleep as he labored each breath. We have made it through many a school program, pre-schoool, kindergarten, 5th and 8th grade graduations, his first steps to his first day of school, 15 Christmases and 15 birthdays. None of that prepared me for this though.

I think I'm beginning to understand why mother-in-laws get such a bad rap. We women can be a bit territorial at times especially when it comes to the men in our lives. After all nobody can take better care of them than us.

Letting go is such a difficult process. I'm the rip the band-aide off fast and quickly get the pain over with so I can move on kind of girl. Letting go of our children can't be quick because they still need to lean on us from time to time. Just as I would go through his nightmare birth process all over again just to have him in my life I will let that band-aide of letting go be pulled off ever so slowly sometimes catching hairs causing a little more pain along the way.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


One of my sisters and her kids were visiting this past weekend. Bekah loves playing with her cousins! We all but camped out at my parents house from the time they got there until the moment they left.

There were stressful times for Bekah, not having the food she is used to at home and having to decide if she was really going to eat all of the bread or not the crust. There were stressful times for me trying to factor in the activity when I gave her a bolus. She did have a couple of lows but caught them in the 70s. We even remembered to bring the Lantus to Grandma and Grandpa's house so I didn't get fired this week =).

I usually go to bed before my husband so he does the 2 AM check (I'm so thankful he is a night owl). At 5 AM I woke with a start. I asked my hubby what Bekah's BG level was when he checked, "114", was his reply. I had to double check, "That was 1 14 right?" My mind began to race if she was 114 there is a good chance she'll crash (after all she had been in the 200s at 2AM and waking up in the 130s the past few days), she played so hard today surely the extra activity will cause her to crash, she had a couple of lows today what if her Lantus needs to be adjusted, she might crash, crash, crash, she is gonna crash! (at 5 AM I don't think rationally) . I must have muttered something of the sort out loud because I remember hearing my husband say to me "she will be fine".

Very rarely do we check more than once in a night. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes and realized that all I was going to do was lie there and worry so I might as well drag myself out if bed and go check on her. I tried to poke her finger and she got angry and put both hands under her torso as she rolled over to her belly. I heard some one recently say that toes are less sensitive than fingers so I went back to David's changing area and grabbed a couple of baby wipes. I washed off her foot and poked her heel. No blood. So I squeezed, Bekah woke a slight bit and kicked me. Bekah has not got a mean or even sassy bone in her body. She was still asleep and didn't know what she was doing really. I can't blame her. What a rude awakening, someone poking you and making you bleed in the middle of the night. I decided that I just needed to trust that God was watching over her and she was indeed going to be ok.

I'm not sure how but, I went back to sleep. I had the most wretched dream. I will spare you the gory details but the main point in my dream was Bekah's BG level was 37! Again I woke with a start and went to check Bekah's BG level. I walked in her room and sighed a huge sigh of relief as I watched her chest rise and fall. Thank goodness, she is breathing. This time she was in a deep sleep with her little hand outstretched as if she were waiting for me to come in and check. She didn't even flinch as I poked her finger. I held my breath as I waited for the glucometer to beep and flash a number at me. 114. That meant for the first time since she was dx her BG level held steady at 114 all night long. This my friends is called Blood Sugar Nirvana!! (the phrase was coined by a fellow D blogger). Even though I had hardly slept I was on cloud 9 all day. Wow! Who could have thought that a number could make me feel so good =).