Saturday, January 22, 2011

Fruit Salad gone bad...

Please do not take any of this as medical advice, although I play the role of a pancreas for my daughter what works for us probably won't work for you.  

I screwed up royally today!  I am kicking myself and the guilt feels like it will never loose it's grip on me.  This morning I was cutting up some fruit for David and myself when Bekah asked for a fruit salad for breakfast too.  I asked what she wanted in her salad and she decided on a pear, an apple and a mandrin orange.  I decided to use my handy dandy scale to measure said fruit to get the correct carb amount to bolus her for.  I weighed the pear and got 27.6 (grams of net carb) and the apple was 28.2 (grams of net carb) and I know the mandrin is about 10 and didn't want to weigh it with the skin on and forgot after I had peeled and sectioned it.  I put the slald together for Bekah and she gave me her meter with the reading of 182 (one of the best wake up numbers she has had all week due to an illness).  I gave the correction and bolused for 65g of carb and added .25 U (I have been doing this since I got wind of the super bolus via several blogs and research. I am not following the protocol correctly but it has worked like a champ to keep those after breakfast spikes down a bit with out her going low.)

She ate the entire salad and the kids were playing when I heard her say in her sweet little voice, "Mommy, I feel low".  I ran downstairs and got her meter and grabbed a handful of Starbursts.  The meter told us her BG level was 46.  I was just about to get in the shower and Jason said, "I've got this, she'll be fine you go shower".  When I got done in the shower I walked into my room to find a sweaty, teary eyed Bekah, lying on the bed next to her dad.  "She's feeling it now," Jason said.  I checked to see how much insulin was on board.  2U!  Crap!!  I thought I was going to faint.  We rode out the rest of the 15 min and the recheck said 136.  We went downstairs and she was HUNGRY.  She ate 4 scrambled eggs, a gogourt (no bolus), and a cheese stick or two. 

As I thought back over why this could have happened, I remembered that I weighed the fruit whole with the core and I didn't go back to weigh the part of the core that I didn't put in the salad and subtract that from the bolus amount.  I know it was my fault.  I hate seeing my baby hurting and knowing that I did that to her is not ok with me.  46s happen, I know that but, most times it is either so random I can't figure it out or she is more active than I had planned on or didn't eat all I had bolused her for and those feel like innocent mistakes.  This time it feels like laziness, a mistake that could have cost a lot more than it did. I know I can't go back, and must move forward, learning from my mistake.  Now if the guilt would just let go, maybe I could do that. 


  1. Oh dear! I'm so sorry she felt so bad - lows stink! DO NOT bet yourself up! We all make mistakes - we are not perfect. You do a fantastic job every day --- seriously!!

    Keep Calm and Carry On. Tomorrow is another day.


  2. Oh Heidi I know its a crappy feeling but honestly you are human. We are human. I weigh apples all the time and never minus for the core thats not eaten and J doesnt go low. So it could have easily been just a damn low.

    Dont be too hard on yourself! Youre awesome and that fruit salad looks amazing! Hope she starts feeling better soon. Xoxo

  3. Don't be so hard on yourself. We have all made mistakes and the good thing is, she was able to communicate with you and let you know she was low, and you were able to catch it before she went too low. Being a pancreas is a really tough job, and you are not perfect. Hang in there and chin up! You are an awesome Mom!

  4. Easy mistake...not laziness. Don't beat yourself up over it. We Dmoms have a lot to think about. Glad it all worked out ok. ((hugs))

  5. Seriously in awe right now. For some reason in reading this it reminds me of the tediousness of our jobs as pancreas'. I mean...really?... to remember to subtract weight/carbs of the core from the whole apple...if you don't...there could be medical side effect. This disease is so damn fickle Heidi. (((HUGS)))

  6. We have all done it at some time or another Heidi. Ease up on yourself, it's ok. We are all trying to be pancreases to our kids and sometimes, it just turns out that the core gets included. You made it, chalk one up to experience, right?!