These are usually the photos that I share when I talk about "that day"...
The photo is of Bekah and one of Nicole's (my friend that shared a guest post) daughters. I wanted to do something special for her birthday becuase having baby triplet sisters is tough work and she is a great big sister who just needed some special princess time. Bekah was so cold she had to wear a sweatshirt over her dress. You can see how pale she is but she is still happy...the subtle ways of D.
So again a wave comes and goes and I feel stronger becuase I let it run it course and didn't fight against it or push it away. Yes there is joy coming as I pause and thank God once again for giving us a second chance, for the privilege of counting carbs and bolusing insulin day after day to keep my precious one healthy and happy! The joy comes in being thankful, but we do need to let ourselves feel the grief. One, two, five, ten years in there will still be waves of grief and I hope I will remember that feeling them is what will help me grow and then take the time to pause and thank God yet again for his magnificent grace so that I can let the joy back in.
This song really sums up my heart.