Update on pump progress, Bekah's dental procedure and Megan

It looks like we should hear back in about a week about our appeal to our insurance company for a pump. I can understand why they denied it in the first place. 6 months minimum of MDI is a good standard to have. I told them about the school situation and had the CDEs from our Endo's office write a letter. I have been in contact with a great rep at the Animas company who has been wonderfully supportive and is fighting for us. I know we'll have that pink pump, it's just a matter of when. I am really hoping to get through the learning curve of pumping prior to sending Bekah to school.

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When I took the kids in for their 6 month dental check up in June, the dentist noticed some cavities on Bekah's teeth. Her teeth had been perfect in December. Meri pointed out that being in such severe DKA at her dx in March, she would have been breathing sugar so that could have attributed to the decline in her oral health. Whatever the reason the cavities were there and she was so timid (I think due to the trauma in March from the hospital etc at dx) that the dentist thought it would be best to do the work in her mouth with her under sedation.

Today was the day we went in for the procedure. I was very nervous after almost losing her in March . I had talked with our CDE and had a well child check done to make sure to minimize any risk that we could be taking by putting her under a general anesthesia. We did a BG check at 3 AM again at 6 AM and then at 9:30ish right before the anesthesiologist gave her a shot. Her BG was 167 at 3, 176 at 6 and then 205 before the procedure and 215 after. I was actually happy with those numbers. They could have been better but given the stress she was under, I'll take it! The anesthesiologist talked with me for a minute, listened to Bekahs lungs and the gave her a shot to relax her. I carried her back to the chair, kissed her on the head and went back out to the waiting room. I had brought a book with me. I haven't had the time to read for pleasure in quite sometime so I thought I would take advantage of this time to escape to another world with my favorite author, Karen Kingsbury. I chose "Halfway to Forever". The book opens with a woman standing in a cemetery at her daughter's grave. Could I have chosen a worse book for the moment?!! I fought back tears as I read and tried to distract myself from the circumstances surrounding me and tried to focus on the characters. (it wasn't working very well and I made a mental note to skim the first chapter of a book before I decide to dive in at what could be not the most optimal time for said book)

The procedure took about an hour and then they let me come back as Bekah was waking up. I had never seen anyone come out of anesthesia before and they told me it was normal but it still freaked me out a bit to see my daughter shivering and coughing with a weird snoring sound coming from her. It looked like a seizure to me. For a mom who knows that her daughter could have a seizure as a complication of her medical condition, this was particularly scary to watch. I took a deep breath and sat and held her hand and rubbed her leg until she woke up. The anesthesiologist warned me that she would probably wake up very grumpy. My sweet girl woke up with a smile on her face.

After about a half of an hour, they let me take her home. I carried her to the car and put her in her seat, buckled her up and arrived home in less than 10 minutes. She was happy to be home but did cry a little at the numb feeling she had around her mouth. That really bothered her. (who doesn't get bothered by that icky numb face) She slept a lot today. One of the side effects of general anesthesia is nausea and vomiting. I don't know about the rest of you but vomiting with D is one of my greatest fears. I proactively called our pediatrician and got a prescription for an anti-nausea medication (Zofran). I didn't have to use it but it did put my mind at ease to have it on hand just in case.

Poor Bekah was a climbing structure for David all day. He knew she wasn't feeling well so he wanted to snuggle her. At 17 months old he doesn't know his own strength nor does he understand that laying on someones face is not snuggling on their part. She was so patient with him as he squeezed and smothered her with his toddler love. She is such a great big sister!

Bekah didn't eat much today but, I did get her to drink some juice boxes and some yogurt smoothies. Her BG stayed in the 170-200 range most of the day. I bolused after meals because I didn't have a clue how much she would eat and I didn't want to try to force down extra juice to make up for the uneaten carbs. Tomorrow we will go back to pre meal bolusing.

Bekah ended up needing 8 crowns plus sealants. I'm still feeling guilty for letting this happen although, I did get the hygienist to let me in on the fact that both of her kids had 8 crowns as well. I didn't feel like the worlds worst mom after that. I keep tooth brushes everywhere now. I have 2 for each kid by the candy jar that we use for low blood sugar. I found a cute tooth brush timer app for my smart phone that we use every night too. Hopefully all we will need in the future is cleaning and checkups at the dentist's office.

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Megan did her collection for the GI doc and I got a call back that all was negative. I guess that is a good thing. I want a correct dx if there is something going on in her body that we need to know about. I did ask our pediatrician what I should expect at the GI doc when she called with the results of the stool tests. She told me that the GI doc would maybe redo the blood work once more and then maybe do a liver biopsy. Not sure really what to expect so I am trying to keep myself from googling or thinking about what could be and trust God that He knows what's going on and will grant wisdom to this GI doc.

On a positive note Megan and Bekah get to go to camp together on Sunday. I will fill in the details in another post because this one is long enough.

Party Time

Sunday was Bekah's birthday. I wanted to do a special party for her. Having a summer birthday makes it hard to invite school friends and people go on vacation etc. Being the third child, we have not always put huge effort in to a party for her. Megan also has a July birthday so two birthdays in one month gets a little spendy.

Build-a-Bear workshop is fairly inexpensive and has the added bonus of not allowing food. (I thought if it as a bonus anyway) Each child goes home with a bear so there is no need for treat bags either. So that is where we went.

After the party we had a yummy dinner of Bekah's favorites that we shared with some of our best friends. Mac-n-cheese, corn and watermelon (my girl loves her carbs). We followed it up with chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream.

You are probably wondering what her numbers looked like esp after such a carb heavy meal. Well it wasn't pretty. I rounded way down when I gave her dinner bolus and she still hit 51 an hour or so after we finished eating. We corrected and gave her a 15ish carb snack with protein. At the 3 AM check she was at 377! Talk about a roller coaster!

Here are a few pics from the day.

Today...

Today, I celebrate life! Today, I celebrate that Bekah was born to our family 7 years ago. That God chose us to bless with this precious life. Today is different from her other birthdays, for today, I will celebrate in a way I have never celebrated before. Since we celebrated six years with our sweet girl, a year ago, there has been a change. I have become more keenly aware of how fragile life is. Today, I celebrate that 140 days ago, God decided again to let this precious little girl grow up as a part of our family. I love you to the moon and back a million, trillion times my sweet Bekah! I hope you have the best birthday ever and I get to celebrate many, many more with you!

Then...




...and now

Sucker punch

I just got the wind knocked out of me! I had heard from the Animas rep that our insurance company would cover the Ping 100%. I was so excited!! With the crazy week I have had it was my silver lining. I was just waiting for that beautiful pink pump to come in the mail. I just got a call from the third party pharmacy that we have to go through that it was denied. DENIED! What about school?? The pump was my answer to their skin piercing issues. I had a melt down on the phone with the pharm. Then called the insurance company in tears. I filed an appeal. Now I wait...

Here is a note I sent to my prayer warrior friends. I know many if you are the praying type so I petition you as well.

Thank-you for your continued prayers for Bekah. We are facing quite a conundrum as school approaches. Bekah will be at school 6 hrs a day in the fall and will need at least one if not 2 insulin injections during that time. She is getting good at giving her self shots but not so good that I am comfortable with her doing all of them at school with out proper supervision. She is only (almost) 7! There is only a nurse at the school one day a week to help her. Otherwise she is on her own unless I am there everyday and then there is the task of keeping a very busy one year old safely occupied as I administer the injections. We thought the answer to this was an insulin pump. I just heard back from our insurance company that the pump was denied for Bekah. I am appealing this decision. I also know when I am at the end of me and don't have the answers that Papa God does. I am not asking you to pray that we get approved but for wisdom and direction. Is there something here I am not seeing?? His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts higher than mine.

My prayer is, "Show me Lord, Your will, and let it be done to the glory and honor of Your name!"

Thanks so much!

Blessings,

Heidi =)

A day at the coast

Good morning friends! Thank you so much for all of your kind, sweet words on my blog yesterday. I appreciate your support and prayers so much. Life with a busy family of 6 has it's ups and downs and then you throw in D and some days it all gets overwhelming. I realized this morning that I had pictures on my camera that I had not even uploaded to my computer, much less blogged about.

One of the nice things about where we live is depending on your mood, you are less than a two hour drive from just about everything. Skiing in the mountains is just a hop, skip and a jump in one direction and spending a day at the ocean is a small jaunt in another. We decided on a whim one Sunday a couple of weeks ago to pack up and go to the beach.

The place we chose was Cannon Beach. It is the place where the old movie "Goonies" was filmed. We started the day out early so we could try to catch some tide pools. We did find some pools and a few crabs but not much else of interest. We think there was a dead sealion up a ways from where we were but I would not let the kids get close enough to see if he was just napping.

The famous Haystack Rock as seen in "Goonies"

Once we could pry David from the sand and surf, we moved on to a few other activities. Most little boys dream come true is sand and water in the same place where Mom says "go for it" and you can get dirty to your hearts content. He didn't want to leave and was not understanding that we would be coming back. We hit the promenade and did some geocaching along the way. We window shopped and even let the kids spend a couple of bucks in the candy store and toy store.

After all of the activity and the fact that it was snack time I figured that letting Bekah have a 20ish carb candy wouldn't do any harm. Her lunch BG was 290 oops, guess I was wrong. We corrected and ate the picnic lunch I had packed. Then it was back down to the beach for some more splash time.

If you have never been to the Oregon coast I should tell you that the water is C-O-L-D! I'm even shivering as I type this thinking about it. The kids played and played. At one point I began to get concerned that we should check Bekah's BG. She was at 63. (where is that candy from the candy store when I need it). She actually did have some left and was happy to partake in some sugary goodness to bring her back up in range.

We finished out the day by eating a yummy dinner at one of the local diners. It was one we had not tried before. I had a yummy salad and Josh had fish that he loved, but Jason and Meg said the burger was just ok. David enjoyed his "chicken-chicken" and "fre-fries". (I love hearing kids learn to talk).

Here are a few of the pictures that I took. I was so busy just taking in the day that I almost forgot to whip out the camera.

the kids playing in the water (brrr)

random pics (Josh is under the towel taking a nap and David had to get a snuggle in)

Beyond exhausted...

I don't remember ever feeling this emotionally done. It has been an excruciating week. I don't even know where to begin. The one thing that has been ok has been D. Bekah's numbers (knock on wood) have been doing well. Waking up at 115ish and hanging out there most of the day and peaking at 160ish at 3AM. Pretty consistent. Now that I have it down on paper it is bound to change.

David has an eye infection that started in his right eye. I got him in to the doc as soon as I knew it was bad. The ointment they gave me didn't work and then both eyes got infected and goopy gross. So now he is on drops and I think the green goo will finally be gone today sometime. He has been cranky with a capital C.

Megan has done her collection for the GI doc and we are waiting for her appt in early Aug. Meanwhile I am trying to keep my thoughts inline and not go to the unthinkable unknown places.

I have an angry case of eczema that goes from my knees to my shoulders and every where in between. Although we have great insurance for the kids we have none for us. Cortisone cream is not touching it. I have been on a dairy free diet for over a year because we discovered David is allergic to cows milk even through my milk. I just added a gluten free component that doesn't seem to be doing anything for the eczema. I was hoping it was a gluten rash and I could find the cure with out a bunch of tests. I guess my next step is to call the doc and fork over the money to get it figured out. (still will most likely be cheaper than private medical insurance)

My husband gets his last teaching check next week. He is not looking for a job but instead has an idea for networking small businesses. I'm sure that God will provide but I have to be honest and say I am too tired to be as supportive as I know he needs me to be. I'm not un-supportive but my heart is not in it. I have so much else to worry about that I am just a long for the ride. My husband has a reckless faith which is admirable and many days I enjoy the adventure but right now I long for some semblance of stability. Most of our married life we have lived on daily faith and seen all but litteral manna provided for us. I have story after story of God's faithfulness just when we didn't know where else to turn.

Here is one for you. Just this week, the kids were playing outside and one of them noticed that the tags on our car were expired. My husband went and looked and sure enough they were expired but not just recent. They expired in March. Just about the time our identity was stolen and Bekah was dx with T1. It was a miracle that we hadn't been pulled over. We only had $18 in the bank so there was no way we could afford to get the tags replaced. A client that we had all but given up on (my husband has a web hosting business) called that day and asked if we would come pick up a check. It paid for the tags, gas and a little bit of food. I was never once worried because I am my Daddy God's princess and He ALWAYS takes care of me.

My teenage son has been the most exhausting. I need to respect his privacy and not go in to detail about what has been going on. I have been clinging to God for wisdom and strength through this. (as tears well up in my eyes)

Today I am beyond exhausted...

D meet up

There are a few of us D-moms that have gotten together a couple times since Bekah was dx with T1. My friend, Bonnie, has a daughter who was dx with T1 5 years ago so they have met a few people over the years that have D in common. She has graciously opened up her home to us once a month or so. It has been awesome meeting these folks! She met up with another gal who does the same thing with a different group. They decided it would be cool if we all met at a park this summer. We met last week. I haven't blogged about it because I have been processing the whole thing. It was good, don't get me wrong. I always love meeting people that "get it".

It was a very hot day. Here in the PNW, we have had 60 degree and raining weather for weeks and weeks and then bam 90. I'm not complaining, but it would have been nice to get a warm up so we could acclimate. Seriously on the 4th of July I was wearing two sweatshirts and less than a week later roasting in 90 degree heat. I was not going to let the heat stop me from this outing and opportunity to meet some more people that understand my new world.

Our group was on the ground on blankets and their group was under the covered area just a little to our left. That in itself was a bit awkward because it was like them and us. I skipped over anyway and introduced myself. They were all very nice ladies with absolutely adorable children.

At one point my situation with the school came up as I was talking to one of the moms. They are all from a different school district than the one we are in. In their district, they have procedure nurses that travel and take care of their kids. Our district doesn't have that in place and in fact the nurse is only there 1 day a week.

I went back to "our" group to say some hellos and squeeze some necks of people I hadn't had a chance to touch base with. When I came back over to meet a couple of new ladies that had joined their group, I was bombarded. I know they meant well. I'm sure being on sensory over load with the heat was a big part of why I felt overwhelmed. I was being thrown "you need to threaten to sue", "you need to call the local news station", "you need to, you need to , you need to". I wanted to just melt into a puddle and cry.

I know that they had the best intentions and have been dealing with ignorance from people and having to fight for their kids for years. I get that. I have a fierce mama bear inside of me too and can go from 0 to bitch in less than 60 seconds if necessary. Maybe I am naive but I really think that I can fight this with out having to fight so to speak. I believe we can come up with a win-win situation. I will be contacting these other moms though if I need to get mean and nasty.

I am a little backwards from the rest of society. I believe that respect is not something that is earned. I believe that all people deserve honor because they are God's creation. When He was done creating them He was happy with the result. He loves them with an everlasting love and sent His son for them. So before I go putting on my bitch hat and making a spectacle of the school district I want to try to handle this with grace and honor. (I have contacted the ADA and Bekah will be on a pump so the skin piercing will not be an issue) I also want to just enjoy my summer with out worrying about the school and what the best course of action for Bekah's education is.

All in all our experience at the park was a nice time. Here is a picture of the kids and some of the moms. I think we could be great friends if we have the opportunity to meet on a regular basis. (the cutey in the blue dress is Bekah and to her right is Bonnie's daughter who has been an amazing strength for Bekah)

Keep on keeping on...

I am currently reading a devotional book entitled "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. I am in a season of life where I don't have the luxury of pouring over God's word for hours at a time. I have a very, very busy toddler to keep up with and a daughter with T1, not to mention a tween and a teenager that keep me on my toes as well. It is tiring but I still need God's word and I still need to keep my gaze focused on Him to keep from losing my step. This book is great for me in this season. No pressure, no hours of reading and studying just nuggets to keep me grounded.

This morning's reading spoke to me. Most of those who read my blog are fellow D moms. I have been reading your blogs and you are all amazing women and I am so thankful that God placed you in my path. We all have our good days and bad days and many of you have given me hope that one day the good days might just out number the bad. D is hard to manage on it's own when all is right with the world and the planets align just so, but add to that swimmers ear, selling a house, another child dx, another child dealing with a different illness, a growth spurt, pregnacy, summer activity and hot weather etc. D comes in and tries to get the upper hand some days. If you are having one of those days or weeks then maybe this will speak to you as well.


"Keep walking with Me along the path I have chosen for you. Your desire to live close to Me is a delight to My heart. I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you. Together we will forge a pathway up the high mountain. The journey is arduous at times, and you are weak. Someday you will dance lightfooted on the high peaks; but for now, your walk is often plodding and heavy. All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to My hand for strength and direction. Though the path is difficult and the scenery dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend. Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the path of Life."

Keep on keeping on, my friends! You are all doing a beautiful job at caring for you children and are a shining example to me! Thanks for letting me be a part of your journey.

a picture is worth a thousand words...

Ok so she is posing for this (the angle is wrong but only a Dmom would know that ;) ) This was her 10th shot in about 48 hrs that she did all by herself. This photo has so many emotions in it. It makes me laugh and cry all in the same breath. Grief and pride all meshed together. 4 months ago she and I both had a fear of needles. She doesn't even flinch. She is so little and so big at the same time. I hate that D has forced her to grow up so fast but love that she is so mature. The tears are flowing so fast now that I can't see to type so I will leave you with this picture and really I know I don't have to say a word because if you are a D-mom or dad reading this, you "get it".

Randomness

This post is really just the random thoughts blogging around in my head.

Summer is in full swing and just as anytime we are hit with no real schedule, our family has migrated to a swing shift. We stay up late and sleep in. I love Summer! I love that we can just be. We don't have anywhere to be or anything to do on some days. We do have several appointments etc scheduled this summer so not every day will be a lazy summer day. I am going to enjoy it while it is here though.

There have been some exciting things happening around here. First of all Bekah gave herself a shot last night! When it was time for Lantus, she wanted to hold the syringe. I suggested that she give herself the shot. she decided to try it. She sat on Jason's lap and I held her skin on her thigh and after a few trial runs she decided to go for it. I am so proud of my brave girl!

Secondly, David is talking in sentences. First one was a couple of days ago "MY Daddy"as he was hugging Jason's knee. The next one was yesterday "I want candy" as he spied Megan and her BFF indulging in some Whoppers and tonight "I love you" to me. He is growing way too fast! I am trying to take it all in as I feel like I blinked and the other kids' baby days were gone. I love when kids start communicating because you can now get a glimpse of what has been going on inside their head.

Bekah qualified for the Littlest Heroes Project. We have selected our photographer and now just need to get a date scheduled. I'm trying to decide if this is an occasion that warrants a new outfit. My kids (esp the younger 2) live in hand me downs and second hand store finds. It's one way we cut corners so I can be home with the kids. Every now and then for a special occasion I will go buy something new if we have money in the budget. I'm thinking her Easter dress that her grandparents bought her would do just fine although, I do love the new poppy line they have at Gymboree. Decisions. decisions...

The next thing is not as good. Yesterday, the kids' pediatrician called. She was informing me that we needed to take Megan to see a pediatric GI doctor. I had taken Megan in about 6 weeks ago because she had been having some tummy trouble. The doctor decided to do a full blood work up and even threw in an A1C to humor me. All of the numbers came back great except for her liver was slightly elevated. At that time the doc thought it could just be a virus so retest in a few weeks. We went in last week to have to blood work redone and yesterday I got the call. It was Megan's birthday so I down played it. Tonight though, as I sit here in a quiet room, I have to admit that I am a bit nervous. Nervous about what diagnosis we will get and can I handle that and all of the other stuff that I have on my plate right now. I know that God is in control and that He has a good plan.

Happy 12th B-day

12 years ago today I gave birth to my second child, Megan Kathleen. Megan was born via scheduled c-section. I had an emergency c-section the first time around due to Josh's size and my doc highly recommended going this rout. As we have been doing some spring cleaning this summer, I came across an old journal where I had journal-ed my thoughts the night before Megan was born. I was nervous and anxious. I wondered if I would be able to parent two children. I had to giggle a little at that young, naive woman.

I remember thinking when I found out I was having a girl, that I would have a quiet, docile child. I was excited because although a pretty good kid, Josh was a typical boy and I was ready for some calm. Well this little girl was out to prove me wrong. Quiet is not a word I would use to describe Megan. When she was under 2 and her brother 3 years older, she taught him how to climb trees. So docile? not so much.

In the last 12 years Megan has brought so much joy to our family! She is amazingly creative. We won't long forget the contraption she made so she could turn on and off her bedroom light with out stepping a foot out of bed. She is funny too, always cracking a joke or coming up with some funny quip. Megan loves to be the center of attention and you can always count on her to entertain. You really can't help but love her because her beautiful heart stands out above all.

Megan has overcome much in her life. She was dx with sensory processing disorder. She has been through many hours of occupational therapy as well as a listening program. She has come so far, through these therapies, that I often forget that she has some special needs.

This past year Megan was on honor roll all three trimesters. She is blossoming in to quite a young lady. One, I am very proud of.

I'm so glad God choose you for our family Megan, H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y !

Singing the lows...

Bekah's BG has been pretty consistent at night. I'm not sure why but she has these 2AM spikes. Almost every night her numbers are usually in the 200s at 2:00 but by morning she is at 130ish. We have tried adjusting lots of things and nothing seems to solve this so we just roll with it. It is what it is and she is correcting her self so no reason to stress. The CDE even suggested that we stop checking at night. (I'm so glad we haven't listened to this advice)

My wonderful husband is a night owl so he has taken on the job of 2AM checks. Last night he was working at cleaning the garage and went a little late so he checked at 3AM. He came in and said "I got a 67 so I rechecked and got 68. Juice box? and recheck in 15??" I mumbled "mhmm" as I pulled the covers up over my head. What seemed like only a second later, I hear "hey hon I got a 69 now, I just want to check with you, a second juice box right?" I sat straight up in bed. I was totally awake now. He got her a second juice and we recheck in 15 and get a 76. Seriously?!! WTH is going on? I did nothing different. She wasn't extra active, in fact it was raining so we spent a lot of time reading and coloring. The only thing I could figure was that as I was drifting off to sleep I thought to myself "I'm so glad we have not had one of those nightmare nights of chasing lows that I have been reading about on the blogs". Yep that must have been it, D heard my thoughts.

After the 76, I went downstairs and made some chocolate milk for her. 15 min later 142. Whew! I go back to bed but can not sleep. I know I need to recheck in an hour to make sure it sticks. I spend time thinking about all of my new found friends whose blogs I read and their kids and saying a prayer for each one. I prayed for each of my kids and then look back at the clock. 5:00 time to recheck. 225! I'd much rather a high than a low. I'll correct in a few hours if she stays high. At 8:30 I get up and go check again 156. I breathe a sigh of relief and thank God for getting us through a scary night.

The rest of our day was pretty great. We all got up and went to a 4th of July parade. After the parade we went to my parents' house for a BBQ. My dad makes the best BBQ in the west. Seriously the man should be on Pit Masters or something. He takes his BBQ very seriously. Today he tickled our taste buds with brisket that he slow cooked on his Traeger . Yum-O! We did have one low at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I later realized that Bekah had only eaten half of the amount of bread that I bolused her for.



After spending the afternoon hanging out with my folks we went home and then took Megan and her BFF out to celebrate her birthday which is Tuesday. We were going to go skating but the skating rink was closed so we went with our back up plan and spent the evening mini-golfing and topped of the night with a famous Steak burger real ice cream milk shake. (David and I split a french fry because he has a dairy allergy that seems to bother him even through my milk so I don't eat any dairy either). It was Bekah's first time golfing.




D may have tried to kick our butts last night but we made the best of it and didn't let it get the best of us. (That is not Bekah's Diabetes bag in the photo. I would never make her carry around a bag that big all of the time. She just got that bag in the mail from JDRF and has to take Rufus and his D stuff with her every where.)

H A P P Y 4th of J U L Y to all of my blogging buddies out there!!

Megan's project

I mostly write about Bekah because she is my child with T1 and the reason I started this blog was a therapeutic outlet as I learn to cope with all that D throws our way. Today, I want to introduce you to my other daughter, Megan. Megan is pretty much Bekah's opposite. Megan is out going and boisterous, where Bekah is quiet and shy. Megan has a LOT to say ALL of the time and I rarely get a peep out of my Bekah Boo. I can see where both girls have both my husband and I in them and they each posses some of our strengths and some of our weaknesses. I love that God makes all of us so unique even in the same family.

Last summer, I felt like God was leading our family to get involved with the homeless community on some level. We have a friend who works for Union Gospel Mission in Portland, OR. I contacted her to see what she thought our family could do to help support the ministry there. She signed us up to serve meals every other Wednesday evening. We'd go and eat with the residents of UGM that are part of their Life Change recovery program and then we would serve a meal to the homeless community. It was an amazing experience! I was totally out of my comfort zone especially having a four month old with me. I put him in a front pack and trusted that God would not allow him to be harmed. He had his own little ministry going as he would just beam at some of the people who came in for a meal and it would make their day. I was so proud of my kids and husband as I watched them be the hands and feet of Jesus to the homeless community in Portland. My children saw some real life stuff that in the past I had tried to shelter them from. My husband greeted each one at the door and tried to learn a little about each person that passed him. Once every one was seated he'd make his rounds sitting and chatting with people and praying with them.

A few weeks ago Megan was having an "I'm bored" day. I don't like the word bored. To me it's rude. It's not my job to entertain her (she is almost 12). I feel that my children need to experience life and find ways to get the most out of life. Life will just pass them by if they sit idle and wait for life to bring them entertainment. Megan decided to come up with a fund raiser for UGM. The people had made such an impact on her that she wanted to do something to help them out. She raised $75 all on her own. I'm so proud of her!

Today we went to drop off the money.
This is Megan with the finance director at UGM.

Confident Strength

I have a dear friend who has a business called Wordz of Life. She started it when she was in a place of great pain and desperately needed healing. God impressed on her heart to begin to stitch His words in red and there would be healing as she stitched. The first project that God gave her was to take all of the pastors at our church and make them each a family plaque. She was to stitch each child's name in the family under the parents' names and then God would give her His word for that child. These are not the meaning of their name but what God sees in them.

She does all kids of other stitching too. Many times God will have her stitch a word on a heart snippet and give that word to someone. Her main goal with her business is not to make money but to bless others with God's word. She has found incredible healing along the way.

I have always wanted a family plaque done by her but by the time I was about to order one, surprise, I was pregnant with David. A few weeks after David was born she surprised me with one. I had her stitch out verses that I thought were supposed to go on each of my children's pillows too. Now I'm thinking they are to be framed and hung above their bed. These verses were not hand picked by me. I prayed and she prayed and God gave us the references. It was odd because although I was confident in the ones we had for Josh and Megan, Bekah's didn't quite fit. My friend "knew" that this was Bekah's verse. It comes from Proverbs 31.

"You, Bekah are clothed with strength and dignity and you laugh with no fear of the future. When you speak, your words are wise, and kindness is the rule when you give instructions."

When I saw the family plaque, (see photo below) I could agree completely with each of the words God had given her for my children, except for Bekah's. She is quiet and painfully shy, because of that I worry sometimes about her confidence. Each time I would look at it I would thank God that that is how He sees her even if I don't get it yet. After Bekah was dx with T1D, and we were home from the hospital, I took another look at that plaque. As I did, tears ran down my face because I now knew what He had known all along. She may be quiet and shy but inside my Bekah is Confident Strength!