Have you heard the latest song from Peter Furler? He used to be with the group News Boys (one of my all time favorite groups) I love, love his voice. The style of this song reminds me of the 80's band Erasure (I was a big fan back in the day). Watch the lyrics they really speak to my heart. (you might have to watch it on youtube to get all of the lyrics, they keep getting cut off by my template.)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Rain and 50s
You would think by the title of this blog post that it was going to be about the weather. It is a little. With the exception of just a day or two break here and there it has been raining nonstop for moths now. Can we get a break so the kids can at least get out and play? (enter here one of Reyna's eloquent FFS)
We are gearing up for our first official fundraiser to get Bekah's diabetes alert dog. The organization that we chose to go through actually breeds via invitro fertilization for scent recognition. When the pups are nine days of age they go through scent testing and only the ones that pass this rigorous test are sent on to be diabetes alert dogs the rest are used as family companions, hunting dogs etc. Canines of this capacity are not cheap. We are on the waiting list now and in about 8 or 9 months should have our puppy. In a couple of weeks we will be having a garage/bake sale to begin our fund raising endeavor. Our garage is filling up with donations made by friends and family to help with our sale. We brought the exercise trampoline in the house to keep it out of the way of the garage sale stuff.
It has been raining over this lovely three day weekend we are having so I didn't stop and think that a lower temp basal might be in order. Bekah is not super active especially when confined indoors. She must have been jumping on the exercise trampoline a lot more than I noticed becuase she had two BGs in the 50s through out the day. Lows are rare for her especially lows under 60. Bekah is very aware of her body and usually catches a dropping BG before it hits 70.
Last night the family was gearing up for a late night game of Catan. (we love strategy games) David was beginning to melt down and unlike my other kids needs to stick to the same schedule every night or he is a wreck for a few days. I decided that I would run up and get him down to sleep and then join in the game. I was exhausted and as I was lying with him, I fell asleep. The game commenced with out me. Our family tends to drift toward a swing shift schedule when there is no school for more than a day because my hubby is a night owl. They played until 2AM when Jason had Bekah check her BG 104 he thought that was a tad low for sleeping so he had her eat a Starburst and sent her to bed. He had some work to finish up and at 4 AM as he was walking up the stairs, he wasn't going to check Bekah's BG before retiring himself. (Night time lows are very, very rare for Bekah due to my fear of being aggressive with insulin at night, she actually tends to run a bit on the high side at night and she had just checked 2 hrs prior) Something just felt like he should. Her BG was 54. It took two juice boxes to bring her BG back up above 80. Thank-you Lord that Daddy's have good instincts too.
I have to say that my husband is pretty awesome as he has taken the night shift for me. At first he would just do the 3 AM check and has gained confidence in how to handle each number especially with the pump since he is a techy sort of guy. A few weeks ago when depression took over and I needed a reprieve, he took the midnight checks as well. With Bekah insulin seems to have a 3 hour staying power so I check to see when her last bolus was and set the kitchen timer for him for 3 hours later. It has been working well. I am getting more sleep and feeling better. He is up working anyway so it's not a big deal to take a quick break to check on Bekah. This wouldn't work for everyone but for us it does. Jason has always done his best work at night (swing shift would be ideal for him). He works mostly from home as a web developer (teaching a couple classes in between at the community college to help make ends meet).
We are gearing up for our first official fundraiser to get Bekah's diabetes alert dog. The organization that we chose to go through actually breeds via invitro fertilization for scent recognition. When the pups are nine days of age they go through scent testing and only the ones that pass this rigorous test are sent on to be diabetes alert dogs the rest are used as family companions, hunting dogs etc. Canines of this capacity are not cheap. We are on the waiting list now and in about 8 or 9 months should have our puppy. In a couple of weeks we will be having a garage/bake sale to begin our fund raising endeavor. Our garage is filling up with donations made by friends and family to help with our sale. We brought the exercise trampoline in the house to keep it out of the way of the garage sale stuff.
It has been raining over this lovely three day weekend we are having so I didn't stop and think that a lower temp basal might be in order. Bekah is not super active especially when confined indoors. She must have been jumping on the exercise trampoline a lot more than I noticed becuase she had two BGs in the 50s through out the day. Lows are rare for her especially lows under 60. Bekah is very aware of her body and usually catches a dropping BG before it hits 70.
Last night the family was gearing up for a late night game of Catan. (we love strategy games) David was beginning to melt down and unlike my other kids needs to stick to the same schedule every night or he is a wreck for a few days. I decided that I would run up and get him down to sleep and then join in the game. I was exhausted and as I was lying with him, I fell asleep. The game commenced with out me. Our family tends to drift toward a swing shift schedule when there is no school for more than a day because my hubby is a night owl. They played until 2AM when Jason had Bekah check her BG 104 he thought that was a tad low for sleeping so he had her eat a Starburst and sent her to bed. He had some work to finish up and at 4 AM as he was walking up the stairs, he wasn't going to check Bekah's BG before retiring himself. (Night time lows are very, very rare for Bekah due to my fear of being aggressive with insulin at night, she actually tends to run a bit on the high side at night and she had just checked 2 hrs prior) Something just felt like he should. Her BG was 54. It took two juice boxes to bring her BG back up above 80. Thank-you Lord that Daddy's have good instincts too.
I have to say that my husband is pretty awesome as he has taken the night shift for me. At first he would just do the 3 AM check and has gained confidence in how to handle each number especially with the pump since he is a techy sort of guy. A few weeks ago when depression took over and I needed a reprieve, he took the midnight checks as well. With Bekah insulin seems to have a 3 hour staying power so I check to see when her last bolus was and set the kitchen timer for him for 3 hours later. It has been working well. I am getting more sleep and feeling better. He is up working anyway so it's not a big deal to take a quick break to check on Bekah. This wouldn't work for everyone but for us it does. Jason has always done his best work at night (swing shift would be ideal for him). He works mostly from home as a web developer (teaching a couple classes in between at the community college to help make ends meet).
Saturday, May 28, 2011
A kerfuffle
Yesterday I had a bit of a kerfuffle (isn't that a great word) in regards to Bekah's care at school. It was mostly due to a misunderstanding and my girl wanting to be more independent than she is emotionally ready for.
In my previous post I was sharing my mama pride about how nonchalantly Bekah had become independent and was rockin' a temp basal all on her own accord. She goes through phases where she wants to take on a lot of her D care and then others where she wants me to do everything including going to get her meter for her. There is such a balance between feeling empowered and overwhelmed especially with the intensity of the tasks that it takes to manage diabetes.
The following morning as we were driving to school I remembered that I had forgotten to adjust her I:C ratio for lunch. She piped up that she could do it. I knew she didn't know how to do that but I walked her through the screens to get to the place where she could make the adjustment. I was having to grit my teeth through it becuase the lack of control was really getting to me. I know where it is and I have it neatly arranged in her pump and I was afraid she would mess it up. She did it perfect!
Just before we reached the school, my phone chimed in with a text message alert. As I pulled into the parking lot amongst the line up of cars, I glanced to see who it was from. It was Bekah's teacher letting me know that she would be out for the day. "do you want me to come to do your lunch bolus?" I asked. Bekah hates being put on the spot. "I don't know" was followed by a "no, I'll do it myself" in kind of a huffy tone. I reminded her that an adult needed to observe her do the bolus as she was bounding out of the car toward the playground.
As I drove home I felt conflicted. I didn't want her to feel smothered or like I didn't trust her by showing up nor did I want her to feel abandoned and overwhelmed if I didn't show. Something inside of me felt like I needed to be there. I made a plan to drop off some juice boxes at lunch time so I'd have an excuse to be there just in case my presence was seen as hovering.
At lunch time, I walked in the door of the school and signed in at the office. Just as I turned the corner I see wandering ALONE with her meter in hand, a very tearful Bekah. I scooped her up in my arms and gave quite an earful to the innocent teacher who happened to walk by. My thoughts went immediately to a couple that I had met just a few days before at an ADA symposium. Their daughter had been diagnosed in September just a few weeks after school started. They happen to be in the same school district as we are and share a nurse (with 3 other schools as well). This couple was in the throes of grief, stress etc and the school situation was about to drive them over the edge. I remembered full well why I was on the verge of having a nervous break down before this school year began. This couple relayed to me that one day just a few weeks prior (a good six months after dx) their daughter had been found lying down on the playground at school and was taken to the office, to the health room to lay down. Her blood sugar was not checked! The school staff thought she was probably tired becuase she had missed her snack. Hello!! There are some places our kids are not safe becuase of the ignorance out there! (yes they have a 504 in place but it doesn't get followed)
I took a deep breath through my tears and began to sort out with Bekah what had happened after first making sure her BGL was not low. About that time the substitute came walking up almost in a panic letting me know that she had been looking all over the lunch room for Bekah and she was no where to be found. This lady was so sweet! I couldn't stay angry with her. I quickly gave Bekah her bolus for lunch and sent her on her way. I then explained to the sub that there was just a misunderstanding. Apparently, Bekah thought I said, as she was getting out of the car, that I was coming to the school for lunch. She was wandering the hall looking for me. I am so glad I listened to my instinct!
The substitute told me that she volunteers at the local hospital and she was going to take the next class offered about diabetes. She seemed determined to make sure and learn what she knew she didn't know. I just wanted to hug her. She was not ignorant but knew that she didn't know much and knew that she needed to rely on others to help her to learn. She was concerned for Bekah's safety and wanted to make sure she had my number in case any thing else might come up.
On another note, changing the I:C for lunch was exactly what Bekah needed. Post lunch BG= 130...booya!
In my previous post I was sharing my mama pride about how nonchalantly Bekah had become independent and was rockin' a temp basal all on her own accord. She goes through phases where she wants to take on a lot of her D care and then others where she wants me to do everything including going to get her meter for her. There is such a balance between feeling empowered and overwhelmed especially with the intensity of the tasks that it takes to manage diabetes.
The following morning as we were driving to school I remembered that I had forgotten to adjust her I:C ratio for lunch. She piped up that she could do it. I knew she didn't know how to do that but I walked her through the screens to get to the place where she could make the adjustment. I was having to grit my teeth through it becuase the lack of control was really getting to me. I know where it is and I have it neatly arranged in her pump and I was afraid she would mess it up. She did it perfect!
Just before we reached the school, my phone chimed in with a text message alert. As I pulled into the parking lot amongst the line up of cars, I glanced to see who it was from. It was Bekah's teacher letting me know that she would be out for the day. "do you want me to come to do your lunch bolus?" I asked. Bekah hates being put on the spot. "I don't know" was followed by a "no, I'll do it myself" in kind of a huffy tone. I reminded her that an adult needed to observe her do the bolus as she was bounding out of the car toward the playground.
As I drove home I felt conflicted. I didn't want her to feel smothered or like I didn't trust her by showing up nor did I want her to feel abandoned and overwhelmed if I didn't show. Something inside of me felt like I needed to be there. I made a plan to drop off some juice boxes at lunch time so I'd have an excuse to be there just in case my presence was seen as hovering.
At lunch time, I walked in the door of the school and signed in at the office. Just as I turned the corner I see wandering ALONE with her meter in hand, a very tearful Bekah. I scooped her up in my arms and gave quite an earful to the innocent teacher who happened to walk by. My thoughts went immediately to a couple that I had met just a few days before at an ADA symposium. Their daughter had been diagnosed in September just a few weeks after school started. They happen to be in the same school district as we are and share a nurse (with 3 other schools as well). This couple was in the throes of grief, stress etc and the school situation was about to drive them over the edge. I remembered full well why I was on the verge of having a nervous break down before this school year began. This couple relayed to me that one day just a few weeks prior (a good six months after dx) their daughter had been found lying down on the playground at school and was taken to the office, to the health room to lay down. Her blood sugar was not checked! The school staff thought she was probably tired becuase she had missed her snack. Hello!! There are some places our kids are not safe becuase of the ignorance out there! (yes they have a 504 in place but it doesn't get followed)
I took a deep breath through my tears and began to sort out with Bekah what had happened after first making sure her BGL was not low. About that time the substitute came walking up almost in a panic letting me know that she had been looking all over the lunch room for Bekah and she was no where to be found. This lady was so sweet! I couldn't stay angry with her. I quickly gave Bekah her bolus for lunch and sent her on her way. I then explained to the sub that there was just a misunderstanding. Apparently, Bekah thought I said, as she was getting out of the car, that I was coming to the school for lunch. She was wandering the hall looking for me. I am so glad I listened to my instinct!
The substitute told me that she volunteers at the local hospital and she was going to take the next class offered about diabetes. She seemed determined to make sure and learn what she knew she didn't know. I just wanted to hug her. She was not ignorant but knew that she didn't know much and knew that she needed to rely on others to help her to learn. She was concerned for Bekah's safety and wanted to make sure she had my number in case any thing else might come up.
On another note, changing the I:C for lunch was exactly what Bekah needed. Post lunch BG= 130...booya!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
ode to a test strip
I find you around my house like scattered confetti
Even though your are not perfect it's the numbers you produce that allow me to bolus spaghetti
One day I do hope for better technology
as you display my child's blood with no appology
(That is a far as I got, feel free to add lines in a comment and I will compile it all to make an Ode #2)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Woah Nelly!
My girl is maturing before my eyes. Taking all of this d-stuff in stride (sometimes). Today her teacher text me "424, lots of tears she is drinking water and PE teacher will have her walk and not run". I was half way out the door already as I text back "on my way to check for ketones" (they have urine strips at the school but Bekah hates them.) We always use a toilet hat at home when we check ketones via urine but honestly since we have had our blood ketone meter, we have just done it with a finger prick.
I lug a sleeping David into the school to sign in and make a bee line for the gym. BG check shows 415 and ketones= 0.0 By the time I had gotten there the tears had subsided. No matter how I try to tell her that it's just a number, Bekah takes them all so personally and kind of feels like she has done something wrong when her number is high. (hmm I wonder if I am setting a bad example with those darn A1Cs, I tried not to let her see me cry on the way home from the Endo last time but she is an observer and I am sure she didn't miss it)
I already had a sneaking suspicion that her I:C ratio for lunch needed to be changed (she had been running HBG after lunch all week)and when I did the math: (pizza+fruit cup+chocolate milk = 83 g carb 1:18 ratio bolus was 4.6 HBG correction 2 hr later was .9 a 1:15 ratio would have given her .9 more) Once home her BG had gone down a bit but still needed a .55 correction as was above 300.
We did a site change and then on her own an hour later she checked her BG and told me, "mom my blood sugar is still over 300 so I set a temp basal of +60% for four hours, does that sound about right to you?"
Whoa Nelly!! When did she learn that? Is she 7? or 37??
Proud of my girl as I cry tears of sadness becuase she shouldn't have to know that!
I lug a sleeping David into the school to sign in and make a bee line for the gym. BG check shows 415 and ketones= 0.0 By the time I had gotten there the tears had subsided. No matter how I try to tell her that it's just a number, Bekah takes them all so personally and kind of feels like she has done something wrong when her number is high. (hmm I wonder if I am setting a bad example with those darn A1Cs, I tried not to let her see me cry on the way home from the Endo last time but she is an observer and I am sure she didn't miss it)
I already had a sneaking suspicion that her I:C ratio for lunch needed to be changed (she had been running HBG after lunch all week)and when I did the math: (pizza+fruit cup+chocolate milk = 83 g carb 1:18 ratio bolus was 4.6 HBG correction 2 hr later was .9 a 1:15 ratio would have given her .9 more) Once home her BG had gone down a bit but still needed a .55 correction as was above 300.
We did a site change and then on her own an hour later she checked her BG and told me, "mom my blood sugar is still over 300 so I set a temp basal of +60% for four hours, does that sound about right to you?"
Whoa Nelly!! When did she learn that? Is she 7? or 37??
Proud of my girl as I cry tears of sadness becuase she shouldn't have to know that!
The garden
The pungent smell of lilacs fills my nostrils as beads of sweat form on my brow. Overhead a melody can be heard as a song bird serenades me. I feel the warmth of the sun on my back and a peace washes over me as I toil in the dirt. I feel closer to my maker working amongst His creation. I experience that He made this earth for us to enjoy not only by basking in it's beauty but by working the land as well. I treasure the magic of the moments spent in the garden.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Good Therapy
As Bekah and I sat and looked over the May lunch menu, there was one whole week where she pleaded with me to be able to eat hot lunch every day. I let her indulge and it just happened to be the week after my dad ended up having surgery on his neck. I decided since I was going to be out and about doing Bekah's lunch blousing (I only go to the school when she eats hot lunch) that I would check on him each day. My mom was grateful as she had to work.
My dad's yard is a paradise of sorts in the summer. He keeps 90+ geraniums in pots in a green house all winter and brings them out in the spring (or almost summer which is the case this year), he has 250+ rose bushes (we lost count along time ago and he keeps adding more) a very large lot of grass along with some trees, lilacs and various other plants. My dad's yard has won awards and could easily be pictured in Better Homes and Gardens (I think his is better looking than most I have seen in that mag). I love to sit on the porch swing and just take it all in.
I knew with his surgery that my dad would be anxious to want to "get the yard done" but wouldn't be able to. I get my stubborn streak from him so I knew that he would either re-injure his neck or be depressed as he recovered which would make the recovery process arduous for both him and my mom. So I put on my work gloves each day and did some yard work.
Growing up my dad just did all of the yard work (to be honest I didn't have much interest in it) and since I have been married, we have lived mostly in places that came with yard maintenance. I got to do things this week I have never done before. I power washed (I love this! Everything gets so clean and shiny and it is just satisfying to look back and admire your handy work), I weeded with various tools (I had mostly done this by hand before), I used the weed wacker to edge the lawn (I almost killed myself as I got the chord wrapped in it and my edge looked a bit more like a serrated knife than a straight edge), I pruned and replanted and hung geraniums (pulling the 30+ baskets out of the green house gave me a great upper arm work out). Today I put in over 7 hours. I got burned by the glorious sun that finally decided to show it's face in the PNW and I am sore but it felt so good to give back to someone who has done so much for me.
This was just what I needed to pull me out of the funk I was in! I didn't even think about diabetes or numbers (except when I took a break to run to the school for a bolus). It was amazing therapy! I get to go back for more tomorrow (I think I'll wear some sun screen).
Here is a picture I found of David sitting in one small corner of my parents' yard and another of he and Bekah in another spot. (you only get a glimpse of the mini roses here, he has amazing climbers and various other varieties) I'll be sure to post some current pics when the yard is all in bloom (too bad I can add the smell).
My dad's yard is a paradise of sorts in the summer. He keeps 90+ geraniums in pots in a green house all winter and brings them out in the spring (or almost summer which is the case this year), he has 250+ rose bushes (we lost count along time ago and he keeps adding more) a very large lot of grass along with some trees, lilacs and various other plants. My dad's yard has won awards and could easily be pictured in Better Homes and Gardens (I think his is better looking than most I have seen in that mag). I love to sit on the porch swing and just take it all in.
I knew with his surgery that my dad would be anxious to want to "get the yard done" but wouldn't be able to. I get my stubborn streak from him so I knew that he would either re-injure his neck or be depressed as he recovered which would make the recovery process arduous for both him and my mom. So I put on my work gloves each day and did some yard work.
Growing up my dad just did all of the yard work (to be honest I didn't have much interest in it) and since I have been married, we have lived mostly in places that came with yard maintenance. I got to do things this week I have never done before. I power washed (I love this! Everything gets so clean and shiny and it is just satisfying to look back and admire your handy work), I weeded with various tools (I had mostly done this by hand before), I used the weed wacker to edge the lawn (I almost killed myself as I got the chord wrapped in it and my edge looked a bit more like a serrated knife than a straight edge), I pruned and replanted and hung geraniums (pulling the 30+ baskets out of the green house gave me a great upper arm work out). Today I put in over 7 hours. I got burned by the glorious sun that finally decided to show it's face in the PNW and I am sore but it felt so good to give back to someone who has done so much for me.
This was just what I needed to pull me out of the funk I was in! I didn't even think about diabetes or numbers (except when I took a break to run to the school for a bolus). It was amazing therapy! I get to go back for more tomorrow (I think I'll wear some sun screen).
Here is a picture I found of David sitting in one small corner of my parents' yard and another of he and Bekah in another spot. (you only get a glimpse of the mini roses here, he has amazing climbers and various other varieties) I'll be sure to post some current pics when the yard is all in bloom (too bad I can add the smell).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
