Who would have thought that the school cafeteria would drive me to tears?
Yes, I was blubbering in the school cafeteria today. There I was sitting next to my sweet girl who had been begging me to let her have "hot" lunch for days, with tears stinging my eyes. I lied and told her I needed to change my contacts because my eyes started burning. The reality was I had just gotten almost knocked on my butt by a huge wave of grief. As I looked around the cafeteria with all of the kids carefree and just enjoying their lunches, it hit me. Some of the kids would finish their food and some not and it was no big deal, for them. None of them cared how many carbs were in whatever they were eating while my Bekah was happily counting her grapes. I had just added up the carbs in said cafeteria meal, 86! I saw how happy she was to be able to enjoy this treat at the same time reality hit that even if there was someone at school to help her with everything when she eats "hot lunch" that it's not healthy for her to consume that many carbs on a regular basis. It made my heart ache to know I had to squelch some of her joy. It was one of those moments where no matter how badly I wanted for her to be able to be just a normal kid, she isn't and won't ever be. I decided to let her pick one day a week when she can eat "hot lunch" and I will go and help her with everything. I'm sure if I pushed I could get the school staff to take care of everything on those days as well but I'm just a little bit protective and it gives me an excuse to have lunch with my daughter once a week.
Now I would have thought that all of those carbs would have shot her BG to the moon. Nope, after dance class (they have dance as part of their arts block- PE, Art, Dance and Music) BG reading was 107. She had a snack and went joyfully off to music. As we stood by the door eating her cheese and crackers, waiting to go in to the music room, Bekah peaked in the window. "it looks so fun in there" she beamed! I took a deep breath. Another (much smaller) wave of grief, hating that she had to miss any of the fun to check her BG and eat a snack. (If her BG is under 120 at 2ish then she tends to go low on the bus ride home)
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We had this happen this summer when my son went to the school's Kinder Academy (like an orientation week) and they served breakfast and lunch. I cringed as he picked out all the things he wanted and the carb count went up (but the nutrition count didn't!!) We then chose to skip breakfast the rest of the week. I think these kind of things are harder on us moms than it is on the kids (thankfully!)
ReplyDeleteI like your solution to make it a weekly "treat".
Ugh.
ReplyDeleteSucker punch right to the heart.
I feel your tears.
I feel your anguish at it all. I decided last year to take the bull by the horns. I met with the nutritionist at our district and she gave me the carb counts on every single thing that appeared on G's lunch menu at school. I then wrote a giant list for the nuse of every single thing. Then, each month, when the menu comes out, G decides which day she will buy lunch, I add up the carbs and slip a paper that totals it into her OmniPod case. They can also use their list to consult about carbs. I even have that I can have access to lunch carb counts, in the whole district, written into her 504 plan. Maybe something can happen at your school on the same level, making it easier on everyone. Hugs my friend.
ReplyDeleteI have the same issue...so they get pizza hot lunch on Friday. (They serve it every week.) I went the first day and saw what they serve...pizza, apple sauce and chocolate milk. UGH! But I have the carbs worked out pretty well. I know the heartbreak. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI know your heartache, too. :( We made the same compromise. Jack can buy a hot lunch once a week. He likes pizza day.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Penny. Talk to the school's nutrition dept. I've done that, too.
((HUGS))
I so hear you on this. I actually did/do the exact same thing with Joe. I no longer go in on hot lunch days though. He is allowed hot lunch once a week and we decide what he is having from the menu while he is at home. The school district finally has carb counts on their food (they did not his kindergarten year). Also...I HATE.HATE.HATE that these kiddos have to miss out on some fun stuff to check a blood sugar. Joe is transferring more of his care to in the classroom this year. He only goes down to the Health Office for lunch. My heart...feels your pain/ache. I love you and your family. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI let Grace buy lunch exactly ONE day all last year. On her birthday! I feel like it's such processed foods that I don't want to risk the delayed high. But now with two other children in the same school, I think it's innevitable that we'll end up on a once-a-week schedule. I just wish the schools provided a more nutritionally balanced meal.
ReplyDeleteOh boy. We have not had to do that one yet - and I am so not looking forward to it. I think my reaction will probably be very much like yours. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteRight now, Sweetpea eats snack like everyone else. I'm hoping next year she'll want to pack! I hate pizza day- every Friday. And I hate having those feelings. Right now it seems like it hits me harder. She doesn't notice. It doesn't bother her... Stuff like that. I pray that never changes. I'm sorry. I feel your hurt.
ReplyDeleteI hear you...even the fact that they are so good natured about it almost makes me feel worse!
ReplyDelete